Saturday

Laboring to Love Someone Who Doesn't Love, Care About You

Selfish, bitter, arrogant, and angry, a partner that doesn't care much about you.  Too much arguing, ignoring, and being spiteful, two people co-exist in a dwelling.  He passes her by and she does the same.  There's only one problem, the victim still has feelings for the abuser.

What does it feel like when one works to love someone who doesn't love in return?  It is lonely, depressing, irritating, and a constant hope that things might change, but they don't.

She loves him and wants what is best for him, but he is annoyed with her reaching out to him.  He believes that there is still a chance the relationship might rebound, but things appear to be getting worse after every dispute.

One labors and labors until either the individual makes up in his or her mind to break up, separate, or pay the other back for all the pain and suffering while still remaining in an unhealthy relationship.  The cycle of thoughts go round and round as challenges rise and then when things tend to be okay, the negativity dissipates for awhile until the next myriad of trying times.

The person who doesn't like, love, care, etc. anymore feels trapped because he or she doesn't know when to leave, it's as if the abuser is looking for a good excuse to end the relationship for good--an opportunity to blame the victim for everything that went wrong before exiting or pushing one's partner to a breaking point.

Abusive men and women deep within are really cowardly and lazy.  They know they should be alone, but don't like it and refuse to admit that something is mentally wrong with them.  So they hide their crazy-making stuff by performing nice acts.  The last thing they want is people on the outside knowing just how messed up they are.

Victims don't want to believe that what they envisioned was a good relationship months or years back was a facade, an illusion...it wasn't real.  The events were manufactured made to look like they were something more than what they really were.  Some abusers are good actors.  They can persuade their victims into a deep love affair, and then drop their fronts once they know they have them completely.

Too often couples rush head long into relationships only to learn of some troubling things about their partners.  Hoping to fix them, they work and work to make them happy while abandoning their own happiness.  Abusive people feed off of those who are the good Samaritan type, the innocent, broken-hearted, feeble, handicap, unintelligent and others they deem to be beneath them.  They pity their victims for a time.  They learn enough about their targets to hoodwink them into a false image of them, false beliefs they are loved, and false messages of a better future.  The promises come showering forth with actions that look more like their dreams are being fulfilled while the victims wishes whether big or small have evaporated like smoke.  One's needs were never truly considered.

Spend your money to make one love.  Agree with promises that things will get better--believe the lies.  Work harder than most on a relationship with someone who would never think of doing as much for you when you are down.  Keep feeding the abuser and he or she becomes empowered and you don't.

So many people exit this world unhappy.  Others suffer with illnesses having much regret that they made poor relationship decisions.  You know your truth, be encouraged knowing that you can live a better life than the one you are currently in.  Tis the season to be jolly, you deserve to be jolly!

Nicholl McGuire
Blog Owner and Author of She's Crazy

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