Monday

This is Too Much - Crazy-making Spouse, Partner

"You didn't do this right.  You spend too much money.  You act like a fool.  You aren't good enough!"  the self-important abusive partner says to the victim. 

A crazy-making, perfectionist type of partner is too much to contend with!  But you stick it out anyway or maybe you aren't the one in the situation, but someone you know is.  No matter what the victim says or does the partner has a comment, a question, a concern, a curse word, or worse a fist!  The abusive man or woman blames everyone but his or herself for everything!

When in a difficult relationship like this you or that person that you know is simply surviving each day by looking on the bright side of things even when some days there are no good moments.  The victim is allowing occasional love-making, a gift, a compliment, or some outside distractions to keep his or herself from cracking up inside.  So when the person is not ready to leave the dysfunctional relationship, the individual just copes.

You or a loved one is just passing time away with a mean-spirited partner/spouse.  Hoping, wishing, and waiting for good times to finally last, but they don't.  There is always another day, another time that the abusive individual is going to let you down.  Your hopes are high than low again, high than low. 

You have seen the emotionally and physically abusive movie in your life all before whether with you or someone else.  And how did that ending turn out?  You might have heard the cries, lies, and sighs and wondered, "When on earth will the drama die?  I just want to see her/him happy!"  But after awhile happiness is a foreign word in a miserable relationship.  Being in a crazy-making relationship is like a hang-over that never seems to go away until you take something that works.  In the case of a bad connection with a troubled individual one has to disconnect once and for all in order to feel well again.

Whether you are on the outside looking in or a part of the crazy-making actions most likely you cried out, "This is too much! I can't take this! This person is driving me crazy!"  You always have a choice, stay or go even if you are just the friend watching from a distance.  You don't have to stick around and go crazy with the couple too! 

Check out the books on this site, pick the one that applies to you or an abused relative or friend.  Emotionally and physically withdrawing from a mistake from one's past is a process, it takes time, but it can be done!

Nicholl McGuire

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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