Fighting for a Relationship that is Sure to End

The signs are evident!  Either agree to go along with the abuser's lies, emotional/physical cheating, anger outbursts, threats, and more or suffer the consequences.  So many people in toxic relationships tolerate much while deceiving themselves and others with statements like, "I don't put up with his stuff...I don't play that!  I am strong...he doesn't get away with anything.  She knows better or else!" Sure.  Then a spouse or partner does another thing and another, kiss and make up, put on a good act and he or she is back in a victim's bank account, bed and anywhere else that he or she wants to be in getting selfish needs met.

Victims put on a tough act, but they are weak to the sweet talk, promises, and cheap gifts--tis the season.  They dismiss thoughts that, "He could have treated me better...bought something nicer...apologized."  However, a victim desperate for a bit of harmony will take almost anything from an abuser if it is nothing but a half-hearted smile.

Buying yet more things to make an angry spouse or partner happy once again, when will the victimized ever learn?  Performing nice deeds to appease a broken heart, the victim is hell-bent on saving something that is going to end sooner or later.  "Might as well have a good time before the story ends, right?"  she or he reasons.  You are going to need your money for the grand finale--the final act.  The day that the abuser does the unthinkable.  For some victims, you know it's coming. With each argument, an emotionally and/or physically abusive man or woman is becoming increasingly more aggressive and vicious with his or her words.  You might also be getting meaner and having more courage to fight too.

Victims find themselves mentally unstable, unhappy and insecure in these miserable relationships while being covetous of others' connections.  Fault-finding and being meddlesome in others' affairs while  assuming the worse in family and friends' partnerships, there really is no comparison between the victim's bad relationship and others.  Most people are not hooked up with defensive, overly sensitive and even crazy partners who hit, kick, curse, cheat, lie, name-call, threaten, yell and more. As much as victims want to compare their plights to everyone else's unions, the truth is even if a story sounds familiar--the details are not nearly as disturbing as the victim's relationship.  He or she is often reaching when looking for a bit of information to make them feel better about their poor choice in a partner.

With the honeymoon period here and the illusions and delusions masking over a turbulent relationship, the victim is still holding on.  There are no rewards for foolish decision-making just more pain ahead.

Nicholl McGuire