Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Plenty of victims have learned the hard way that too much idle time spent around an angry man or woman, especially during evenings and weekends, will lead to sooner or later abusive words, hands, or more striking out.  People, who are historically rude with others, are not easy to like or love.  This is why many angry, lonely people take to the Internet for some social stimulation, because they have offended most folks who have been in their presence offline.  In time, their own kinfolk want very little to do with them. Family members, friends, exes, co-workers and others have the mental and physical freedom that  abused men and women have yet to experience when it comes to dealing with these difficult people.  The kind of freedom that victims envy.  They can be cordial periodically with their abusive sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, friends, etc. while carrying on with their lives, because they don't have ...

You have been praying for a long time, you need an answer from God like yesterday.  Be encouraged!  Listen to Waiting on God

After the honeymoon period and more repeated patterns of abuse, I knew that my abuser was not going to try to win me any longer through niceties, because he knew I was on to his game, so he started acting cold and evil. With no smile on his face, intensity in his eyes, he added another stage to the abusive cycle I would like to call, "The We Need to Talk" phase. At first I went along with these invites usually where no one is around or can see you. Every time I did, I got set up. It starts with an exchange of pleasantries like, "How was your day? Nice hairstyle...I like what you're wearing." Then something is mentioned about an incident that left him angry. "So what did you mean the other day when you said...I didn't like how you talked to me...I heard that you told...."  So you talk about the part you played in the incident without much emotion. You aren't screaming, crying or reacting in a way he might expect. You may even thr...

When you had set out to get the finest woman or man in the room or online or maybe you are a teen who sought the most attractive-looking male or female in your class, did you ever think in a thousand years that something might be mentally and/or physically unstable with them? Of course you didn't during those early days of dating.  Most of us don't think about what might someone's flaws be when we are hell-bent on connecting with them or remaining with these individuals for shallow reasons like:  sexiness, periodic niceties and polite mannerisms.  We don't bother to ponder why a mentally disturbed partner was single for a long time prior to meeting us or was in a rush to connect with us when there were others, possibly many others.  You might have thought what might have caused the last break up or you went along with whatever he or she told you while hoping for the best.  No thorough investigating, research, ta...

As much as you think, you might be justified on putting your hands in your partner's face or elsewhere, understand not everyone is going to react in reasonable ways especially if one isn't mentally stable.  Think about it and avoid the temptation to hit, slap, or anything similar.  Looks like in the photo, this guy has bad breath too!  If that's the case, she could have just raised her hand up and kept her hand raised up but not near his face just in case he tried to hit her.  Something as simple as this can lead to an arrest, possibly some jail time, a job loss and supervised visits with children. Women can be abusive girlfriends and wives too! 

Inspirational speaker and author Nicholl McGuire shares information on Chirbit the worries women face who have suffered past abuse.  If you are still in an abusive relationship, listen up.  If you can not see this chirbit, listen to it here http://chirb.it/B4LCEI Check this out on Chirbit

Relationships and Dating She's Crazy and So is Her Mother Too 2 of 2 - Video Dailymotion

You don't understand how did we go from talking about something so simple to blowing up.  Two people had personal qualms with the other and didn't feel it necessary to say much about them until that major argument or physical fight.  Why?  You might ask yourself.  "Why do I put up with this person?"  It really isn't worth the headache or heartache day after day, month after month, or year after year.  But one has to wrap his or head around the idea that freedom is just around the corner.  No more days of wondering what might a partner do next to punish you.  What might he or she attempt to get away with behind your back yet again? Things never go back to the way they were when you are laboring to love an abusive person .  The mask fell off, the individual forgot to securely tie it on his or her face.  You see the ugly man or woman underneath.  "Why did I have to see that?"  You are turned off.  The personality disgust...

Watch for signs...the early days of meeting one's abuser. Narcissists, borderline personalities, anti-socials all exploit people!   He or she was so wonderful in the beginning of the relationship, but that all changed...   These people establish a fake common bond like you both have similar interests.  Then in time, you find out you don't have as much in common as you originally thought, you were deceived!  These troubled men and women are sexually uninhibited, they are open to doing almost anything in or out of the bedroom! When irritated or angered about someone or something, they often blame and exaggerate situations.  They are liars!  View their eyes at times they look empty, dead or soulless.  These individuals with their various personality disorders (typically more than one) are moody and move quickly to have sex.  They don't love, they lust! These lonesome and difficult people rush to get married, ha...

Whether the individual you care about or still love is a mate or something else to you, you will find that you learn a lot about yourself even in your mess!  The kinds of things that are hard to see at times and make you feel sad or angry.   But you need to stop denying things and start accepting truth. 1.  You discover what you won't tolerate off of others despite your putting up with your emotional and/or physical abuser.  Look at your own life before holding the microscope under someone else's. 2.  You realize that you are not as strong as you think and that you have a lot of work that still needs to be done to self-improve.  You may not be physically beaten , but emotionally, you are scarred. 3.  Your partner has mental and/or physical issues that you can't solve, so why bother trying?  4.  You begin to look toward people and things you think you can control, but realize you are pushing them away, because you don't have yourself to...

Why do you tolerate a mean-spirited spouse?  Why do you live where you live?  Why do you react to a partner like you do?  Why do you treat children and grandchildren in the way that you do? Where did you receive your teachings on how to love, communicate, and care for another?  The answers to these questions and more can be found when you look back on the history of those who came before you. Drunks, adulterers, gamblers, addicts, pedophiles, abusers and more destroy families! Ancestry is not to be taken lightly it molds and shapes the present and the future with good, bad and ugly.  As much as we think we are filtering out the bad, we could very well be guilty of passing on some mess from the past without even knowing it! If one doesn't get things understood within and around his or herself, the person and his or her offspring will only infiltrate yet another generation of dysfunctional programming.  Careful what you say and...

Five Common Questions About Domestic Violence Arrests

Words.  The self-absorbed man or woman is good with words.  If you are laboring to love someone who is emotionally and/or physically draining , he or she continues to entrap you with his or her charming words, sweet apologies, and tops it all off with a few false tears.  Then he or she convinces you once again to turn over your body, money, vehicle, deed, or something else he or she wants.  Now who is really the fool?

You don't have to remain in a suffocating relationship, but just as it was a process to get into it, there is a process to get out of it.  Learn more.  Inspirational Messages

Someone or a group of people told hurled a bunch of negative words at you.  Repeated emotional abuse and you started to believe it.  Your unconscious mind received their lies.  Before long, you find yourself living a lie with someone who does the same thing that others have done to you.  They name-call, cheat, lie, gossip, threaten, isolate, and more.  Why do they do such things?  Because... YOU ARE BETTER THAN YOU REALIZE! They see the light within you, they feel your potential, they suspect you will do better, and they know deep inside they don't deserve you!  You are lovely. You are intelligent. You are gifted. You are kind. You are considerate. You are bought with a price. You are golden. You deserve the best. You are sweet. You are pretty. You are handsome. You are loved. You are amazing. You are blessed. Keep your head up. You are free. You don't need him. You don't need her. You will get ...

So you have established the fact that a partner is mentally or physically damaging to your health, wealth, and other areas of your life.  Now what? 1.  How safe do you feel in this difficult relationship at least for the time being? If you feel like an abusive partner is just waiting for any opportunity to strike again whether verbally or physically and you know full well you are going to go off like a maniac, then it is safe to say, you need to do what you can to end this relationship soon rather than later. 2.  Who do you know or could contact to help you send a partner packing or assist you out the door? If you have no one to help you get away from your abuser, there are resources (scroll to the bottom of blog) to help guide you from an escape plan to filing for a divorce.  One of the first things you will need to do is find a place away from the abuser (be sure you don't tell the batterer nothing about your whereabouts ...

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