Being a Victim: A Competition?
I think some women converse about injuries such as a black eye, missing teeth, burned body part, or choking experience with other victims as if they are in some kind of dark competition. For example, I hear some try to outdo one another by saying things like, "What he did to you...look at what he did to me..." As if the more abuse you have received at the hands of your abuser, the more so-called experience you are in situations such as these! Give me a break! It's nonsense...the way I see it some women have embraced this twisted concept of "once a victim always a victim, so let me show you how bad he hurt me!"
The person who has recovered from the abuse and considers herself no longer a victim, but a survivor, doesn't care about your scars or how many you have as compared to hers, all she is listening for in your story is "so have you learned anything?" Some of these "abuse braggers" I call them, usually haven't learned much of anything from their experiences! From 20 plus to 60 plus some of these women are still settling with men that are hurting them in some capacity. They will compare the current man with the last, saying things like "At least he isn't beating me!" No, he may not be hitting you, but the new guy is verbally abusing you. No, he may not be torturing you, but the new guy may be emotionally abusing you by not talking to you when he doesn't get his way. No, he may not be pushing or shoving you like the last guy, but he is pushing and shoving you away from your family, friends, interests, and other things in life!
So these "abuse braggers" who think that it is perfectly okay to boast, mind you, about their story while offering no wisdom behind their experiences, should be kept out of your support system. With them, you will get nothing more then a foolish comment like the following, "He knocked your teeth out, well at least you can get false ones, I have to limp around on one leg!"
The person who has recovered from the abuse and considers herself no longer a victim, but a survivor, doesn't care about your scars or how many you have as compared to hers, all she is listening for in your story is "so have you learned anything?" Some of these "abuse braggers" I call them, usually haven't learned much of anything from their experiences! From 20 plus to 60 plus some of these women are still settling with men that are hurting them in some capacity. They will compare the current man with the last, saying things like "At least he isn't beating me!" No, he may not be hitting you, but the new guy is verbally abusing you. No, he may not be torturing you, but the new guy may be emotionally abusing you by not talking to you when he doesn't get his way. No, he may not be pushing or shoving you like the last guy, but he is pushing and shoving you away from your family, friends, interests, and other things in life!
So these "abuse braggers" who think that it is perfectly okay to boast, mind you, about their story while offering no wisdom behind their experiences, should be kept out of your support system. With them, you will get nothing more then a foolish comment like the following, "He knocked your teeth out, well at least you can get false ones, I have to limp around on one leg!"
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