Saturday

The Silent Treatment is Abusive

You may have experienced the silent treatment. In case you aren't familiar with this type of abuse, it's when a man or woman walks around for days, weeks or even months upset about something and refuses to talk with you about what ails them. Sometimes it sneaks up on you and you don't have a clue what is going on with them. So you ask them repeatedly, "What's wrong?" And they either say, "nothing" or continue to make you feel there is something wrong without telling you what it is. The suspense kills you, eats you up inside and sometimes you feel as if you are walking on egg shells. There are times when you will play over and over in your head the last conversation you had, what you said, what he or she said, and still come up with nothing. Meanwhile, he or she continues to punish you with silence. They refuse to be affectionate. They act as if they want nothing to do with you, and even if they do want something from you, they will get it and then go back to being angry again.

The only way you can get anything out of them is to press them to say something, wait for a response, press them to say something again, wait for a response or say or do something to make them react. The sad part about this behavior is that all of the tactics of trying to get them to talk could be avoided without the silent treatment punishment. This type of behavior is considered abusive because it is a means of control. He or she is attempting to get you to behave the way they want by being silent. In order to get out of this abusive type of situation, what you will have to do is confront him or her on their tactic and remind them that you will not accept this type of behavior. Explain to them that you would like for him or her to talk with you as a situation arises. If they continue to behave in this way, prepare to leave.

Relationships are for adults, people who use silence as a way to control another are nothing more than toddlers having a temper tantrum, because they either fear confrontation, find satisfaction in punishing you using it or think that you will suddenly realize what they are angry about and bring it out of them.

Written by Nicholl McGuire for more articles by this writer visit http://www.associatedcontent.com/nichollmcguire

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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