Still Believing the Lies

Victims will go around the domestic violence wheel again and again and again only to end up back where they started, believing the manipulator's lies.  Isn't this how they got caught in the first place?

• The abuser always makes promises that eventually he or she doesn't keep.
• The abuser lies to get more sex, money, and other things to benefit self.
• The abuser claims that all will be fine (he or she doesn't believe this) just buying time.
• The abuser has already alerted others the relationship is coming to an end.
• The abuser is looking or already has his or her replacement.

Meanwhile, the victim feels a bit empowered because he or she busted a partner cheating, lying, stealing, or doing some other despicable things.  A trusted family member or friend is called and the only relief one receives is more of the same, "You are better than this...You need to end the relationship... I hate seeing you this way."

Another big argument with threats, more truth revealed about one's feelings, followed by another honeymoon period... now what?

The clock ticks and the victim does nothing--all mouth, no go.  This is how it is laboring to love an abusive mate until one makes up in his or her mind to do what is right, rather than sex for tonight.

Nicholl McGuire wrote books about dating violence and provides other enlightening information about dysfunctional relationships, Socially, Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy.