Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

You may have been one of the few who came to this site in shock, it happened!  You were hit for the first time by someone you trusted, a person who you thought loved you so much.  "How could he/she do that?" you think.  Right now you might hurt so bad over the incident--can't eat or sleep well.  You don't feel like you can tell anyone.  At this point in the relationship, it really doesn't matter what caused the fight, the point is your partner hit you, now what?  Does this mean that the relationship is over?  Do you have to go to the police?  Will you need to take photos of your bruise?  What do you think? Every situation is different and every reaction doesn't apply to all situations.  However, the best advice is never stay in any relationship when one has made up in his or her mind to hit your body because he or she was so angry.   No excuses!  "So you hit me because I upset you?  You leave a mark on my body, because you can't control yourself!?

Some women and men in challenging relationships have made promises in the past to a spouse/lover, who they didn't know at the time was mentally disturbed.  Therefore, they feel obligated to fulfill promises, rather than break them despite putting their safety at risk on a daily basis.  From the dedicated man who says he will take care of his verbally abusive wife (come hell or high water) to the loyal woman who believes that if she does everything that she said she was going to do for a husband years ago, these people believe that everything will be alright.  But it only gets better for a moment before the angry wife is yelling and cursing all over again and the physically abusive man is threatening to kill everyone in the house.  What is really keeping the Used and Abused at the home besides the obvious?  Those damn promises!  They are damning because they don't benefit anyone but the person who is waiting for his victim to make good on them. In good faith, victims want to

  The woman in this video isn't saying or doing anything abusive.  However, the video is being posted for those who have witnessed someone in a similar state of mind.  When you challenge someone who is experiencing mania, you run the risk of having a very heated argument with he or she that just might lead to violence.  Saying things like, "Shut up, you talk too d*mn much!  You are a liar you know you aren't telling the truth!  You aren't that smart, your dumb!" will only further infuriate the mania in the individual. Here's another example... When you notice such behavior, best advice, remain calm and find something else to do rather than have a conversation with he or she.  If the manic person follows you around insisting to talk to you, remove yourself out of his or her presence and go somewhere in a public view.  This way there will be other witnesses to the manic person's behavior.  Never turn your back on them when they are in a rage.

It is very easy for some to justify why they have this issue and that one as a result of past abuses, recent verbal assaults, and offenses; however, the truth is, there is no excuse for acting like a fool while in a relationship or out of one.  The survivor boasts about being free, yet the past has a way of rearing it's ugly head every now and then revealing a dark side that would be better left in the closet.  The victim blames his or herself for why the abuser continues to mistreat him or her.  The abuser wants someone to put his or her stamp of approval on his or her unfair, mean-spirited, and downright crazy misdeeds.  Whatever the issue or whoever the person, if one should find his or herself on the wrong side of the law, no one is going to immediately jump to his or her defense.  Those looking on the outside in at a troubled individual, typically will ask the dreaded question, "What did you do?"  The man or woman, who believes he or she is right about almost eve

Who said love doesn't hurt, wound, scar? A person who has permitted a loved one to go too far. She could have ran, but stayed with a man who kicked her around like a dented tin can. His past he shared with her, covered up pain with a fur. Twisted thoughts, lost hope, she had found ways to cope. The young woman remembered when, trapped she was in dark sin. "What did I get myself into?" She took a moment to ask. While he told her get to work on yet another meaningless task. The martyr for all who came before She. He hit her for what his dad didn't do. Pushed her for what his mom put him through. Choked her for what the grandparents knew. Tripped her for those who lived life the best. Smothered her for passing yet another test. All bad memories were supposed to fade away, because of a special couple's love holiday. He told her he loved her so very much, but she flinched everytime he reached out to touch. He would say anything to keep from

13th Floor: Sexual Abuse - Janette...ikz from Pure Path on Vimeo .

For years, they remained faithful to one another, the couple rarely disputed and appeared to be in love to witnesses.  However, now in their 50s and 60s, things have changed in the relationship.  The older man is often threatening to hurt his wife when she asks or tells him to do something.  The wife is often heard by adult children yelling up a storm when her husband disrespects her.  Little does anyone know, the two have taken their anger out on one another physically behind closed doors in the past.  The abused wife reasons, "It was only a little push...an accident when he threw something at the wall..."  Her husband explains, "She drove me crazy that day with all her demands, so I let her have it and then she hit me..." But whatever the issue and how it all got started, violence has made it into a relationship that was once peaceful and no one has yet to explain how did a loving couple grow into a hateful one.  As the brain ages for some, so will the drama incr

Whether black, red, yellow or white, it doesn't matter the ethnicity, abuse doesn't exclusively occur with just one type of person making a certain dollar amount living in a particular neighborhood.  Many affluent women are abused.  They may not look like it, but they are mentally and sometimes physically wounded to the point that they self-medicate in a variety of ways that only their money can buy.  There are those who are middle class or poor who still manage to smile despite being abused by someone who claims that he or she loves them.  However, with most cases of abuse, a woman or a man is usually in a relationship that looks more like master and slave then two people who love one another. You are not your mate's slave.  Although for some, this is an obvious truth, but do they really live it?  He runs around town buying her things only to return home listening to a ranting lunatic for a wife.  She attempts to make his favorite meals only for him to throw them out in