No Talking to Your Friends...No Buying Gifts for Family...Be There For Me!

The rules are typically set early on, during the courtship, from the way he or she looks at you when you mention "I was talking to my friend..." to "Why did you buy that for them?"  Your potentially violent partner is letting you know, in so many words, "I am controlling, jealous, and in time you will do what I tell you to or else."

Most people meeting someone for the first time or starting a dating relationship, don't notice the signs.  When strange feelings surface, one will push those emotions down, reason that everyone has their flaws, or talk one's self out of being protective.  "She didn't mean it that way...He really isn't possessive, I mean we just started dating...Everyone has their share of problems, no big deal!"  However, you should wonder why someone, who doesn't know you that well, feels like they should tell you what to do with your personal life such as who to talk to and how you should spend your money and on who.

The more you give up to make someone happy, the more control you lose over your own life!  Before long, you are dressing to suit him, canceling time with family and friends to appease her, and reporting to this person as if he or she is your parent.  "Honey, I am at the store...Sweetie I will be coming straight home after work...No I am not with my friends, I am helping my mom..."  the new date is acting more like an annoying spouse.  "Are you going to wear that with your friends?"  He or she barely knows his or her date, yet demanding so much from him or her including a change in one's wardrobe.

Watch for people like this and politely go about your way.  Don't act the least bit interested in him or her.  When they insist that you spend time with them, pass on the invite.  When you notice repeated phone calls, lengthy text messages, and frequent unannounced visits to your home, you have a problem on your hands.  Stay away before things get worse.  Report strange activities to family, friends and the police.  Share a photo of this person with security personnel at a workplace or other spots you frequent.

Nicholl McGuire