Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Abusive partners rob you of your joy, prematurely age you, and make you feel like everything is wrong in your life even when it isn't.  You might find yourself overly critical of others, sensitive when someone says the slightest thing you don't agree with, and often carrying emotions that are downright mean.  This is what people feel like who remain with abusive partners. If he or she is cheating, often lying, physically abusive, or frequently angry about people, places and things, a person in a relationship with an abuser is trying hard not to be a problem.  The victim is going to bend over backwards in everything he or she does just to make sure that the angry man or woman is not disturbed.  The victim knows that if his or her partner becomes upset, he or she will be like a dartboard suspended to a wall having to catch the darts of the mean one.  This is why certain relative's and friend's calls or visits might not be entertained because the emotionally unstable par

You made that mistake maybe once, twice, or more getting involved with someone who just can't seem to leave you alone.   For some of you reading this, you hide every morning from a mental case.  Others have to change phone numbers like underwear, just to keep this person from sabotaging your mental state of being. If you haven't contacted the authorities you should, but if you are dealing with a mental case who is an authority, you might have to change your name, leave the country, and do other radical things for peace of mind and safety.  Unfortunately, we live in a world that doesn't always protect and serve as some of you know already.  When dealing with those who "can't live without you...need you...think of you all the time..." be sure that the security team at the places you frequent have a photo of the person who is stalking you, making up stories, etc.  Also, be sure your family knows about this person too.  The last thing you want is to show up mi

Having relationship woes?  Don't feel at peace about some things?  Many couples reach a place in their romance that they just don't know what to feel, say, or do concerning a mate that seems to have a lot on his or her mind and doesn't seem like the nice person he or she once was.  This person may even act strangely wrecking havoc on you spiritually, mentally or worse physically. When you don't spend the time doing the following like:  reading about issues concerning your mate, interviewing him or her, talking to others about your challenges, praying, and of course having that self-talk, you will go along with just about anything this troubled person puts out.  Your mind will convince you that he or she is "okay, alright" until the next battle comes up.  Then you are left standing there trying to figure everything out all at once--bad time to problem solve with tears in your eyes and yelling.  If you are not ready to break up, then in the meantime you might

Some abusive people will claim that they are "better...different...and learned from my mistakes..." but unless they have had some kind of brainwashing therapy, they are still very much the same--the mean spirit is simply in hiding. Take a moment to test people with abusive pasts who claim to have changed.  Ask them about people they like, music they listen to, and places they like to go.  Although strange to start a dialogue like this with an abuser, this small talk will put the individual at ease.  Before long, you will see a familiar personality show up, especially when you start talking about controversial subject matter. As much as we all would like to think that anyone claiming to have a faith or is "in a different place now" has changed, the reality is this mean-spirited person is more likely to say or do something to trigger old emotions within us that will want nothing more than to protect us.  You may find yourself arguing with the abuser, getting hys

Some men just don't want to admit to the fact that they are getting older and with the aging process comes change, not only with his body, but how he views himself and his personal relationship with someone from five months to 15 years plus. For middle age men in denial, they rather blame relatives, children, the job and anything else standing in their way for things like emotional outbursts, forgetfulness even hot flashes.  But the truth is what causes some men to rage is fluctuating hormones due to: low testosterone a poor diet (such as skipped meals, overeating, or eating far too much junk products and drinking alcohol), too much sex or a lack of, no exercise, a lack of sleep, and more. A man with a hormonal imbalance may not have a history of abusive behavior, but when going through a midlife crisis (30-55 plus) he just might start acting mean-spirited.  Therefore, this is why a partner will labor to love her man anyway despite a past abusive episode.  There may have only b

Being Married, Doesn't Mean be Controlled for Better or for Worse