He could do something about the odor that comes from lips, underarms, feet, and other places, but he doesn't. She could do something about her chronic health issues, but why should she? The two are fighting using their untreated health issues as weapons against one another. Neither likes or even loves each other. Both have common problems that could easily be fixed, but no, he or she doesn't believe that their problems are that bad because they are prideful and stubborn that is until a third party says, "What's wrong with you...What's that smell? Why haven't you got checked out yet?" Maybe they will do something or maybe not.
Abusive relationships are not only dangerous to remain in, but also crazy-making. You can drive a person mad with your refusal to get treatment for a health woe that irritates any one of the five senses. There are those people who have been known to do some deadly things to others including passing on an STD to teach a lesson or two. Sex and HIV Disclosure Most couples never see one another's medical records so sometimes there is more to what is going on then what someone is telling.
What happens when the couple gets tired of fighting a health war? Well one may cave in and do the right thing while the other may remain in his or her mess until the health issues get so bad that an ambulance is called or one is asked to leave. Sometimes people just live separately whether in the home or elsewhere. Although these bodily irritants don't seem like much, they can grow into bigger matters! Just imagine having to live with someone who is unclean and who defends his or her not wanting to bathe as something special, spiritual, or just in one's mind who is accusing the person of being smelly? How long would you put up with such things? Are you making yourself deal with the issues when you would rather not?
Having a conversation about health challenges works with those willing to make a difference, but it does nothing for those who are hell-bent on not doing anything about their health woes. You can simply state the consequences and stand by them or make alternative arrangements to live elsewhere before a physical altercation breaks out for the first time or yet again about something that might not be that big of a deal now, but may grow into something bigger later.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and other books.
Based on a book with the same title written by Nicholl McGuire, this domestic and dating violence blog offers support to anyone who is laboring to love an emotionally or physically abusive partner. Feel free to explore numerous relationship and family issues. Please be advised to seek a professional for counsel on abuse. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling, domestic abuse, and teen dating violence. Please be advised this is a public blog.
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