Thursday

Economic Abuse - Controlling Your Mind and Money - Abusers Love to Take Advantage

You saved up quite a bit of money before you met your abuser.  You had less debt before he or she came into your life.  You seemed to be doing quite well.  But then the controlling partner got into your head with all his or her costly ideas.  The individual told you, "Let's go here, let's do that...I'll help."  There's just one problem, he or she doesn't make as much money as you do.  So who is going to be paying for most, if not all of what he or she is asking for?

So many victims fall prey to economic abuse when dealing with the emotionally and/or physically abusive womanizers, gold-diggers and the like whether they have much, little or no money.  These sneaky men and women talk about taking out loans, credit cards, using income tax refund money, and anything else to help with whatever costly plan they conjure up.  The victims, who go along with their abuser's agendas, believe that they are always in control of their money, but the reality is they really are not.  The sweet-talking user and abuser is going to figure out a way to make what is her's his or his her's while making it look like the victim is in control of his or her finances.  The idea is to make the gullible partner feel like "We are working together...it's what you want too..." but upon closer inspection it was never your idea to spend your money for what the manipulator wanted, it was his or her's all along.

Your money is never yours when you are being economically abused.  Slick men and women come up with ways to exercise control over their victim's money as soon as they heard things like, "My family is wealthy...We own...I never wanted for anything...My parents did well...I shop at...I drive a..."  Get a joint bank account with the opportunist and he or she will be helping their selves to your money without asking in time and just might overdraft an account or two. 

Controlling men and women will run up pricey bills and will either refuse to pay, only pay a little or expect to go dutch.  They will take advantage of a victim depending on what the controlling partner's plan is.  If he wants his wife home, he will make it difficult for her to get a job.  If the girlfriend wants her partner relying on her for money, she will not let him do anything monetarily independent from her.  Both attempt to keep track of what money is coming and going and whether there are ever any attempts being made to do something else with their money that might aid the victims toward some help/freedom.

You can start taking measures to keep the controlling man or woman out of your finances by doing the following:

1.  Stop sharing everything you do with your money.  Be sure you have a separate account that he or she doesn't have access to.  Most likely, the abusive man or woman isn't telling you everything about what he or she is doing with their money anyway.
2.  Don't put the abuser's name on everything that you own unless you want to give him or her more power to control you.  If you want to protect your good name, keep him or her off your paperwork.
3.  Employ a professional to help you manage your money.  This way you have someone you can blame when your partner wants to keep asking you to give him or her money.  "I will have to check with my financial planner about that..."
4.  Don't leave your personal bills lying around the home unless he or she is helping you pay them, why leave your account information in plain view.
5.  Save money because you never know when you are going to have to take some legal action or worse bail yourself out of jail in case you experience any violence.
6.  Ignore his or her big ideas to buy this or that.  Most likely, the manipulator is testing you to see how far you are willing to go to appease him or her.  Once he or she gets needs met, the requests only increase.  You will feel obligated, guilty when you don't do for him/her, angry at yourself for being played by a fool, and hurt when your money is no longer holding his or her interest.

Money manipulators will go along with their victim's requests or ideas for a time and will even fake humility and say things like, "Well I am just grateful for what you have done...it's your money, do what you want...Thank you so much for your kindness, no one has ever treated me so well..."  They will appear to be very accommodating when the victim buys things, plans trips, etc., but their kindness is a mere smokescreen for the big idea they have just around the corner. 

The minute a victim rejects meeting the abuser's financial request, he or she will throw up all they did and why wouldn't you want to help your man/woman  "...it is your turn to go along with what I want,  I will need for you to buy...or make reservations for..." the abuser says.  Whatever the manipulator did do for his or her victim can't be compared to the costly ideas he or she has up her sleeve.

Be wise with your money and guard your wallet!

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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