Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Spend some time with an insecure, jealous, or angry woman or man in a relationship and you will learn just how troubled these people are very quickly as well as those who are partnered with them. Talk with the abuser or victim about their troubles at home and you might not get the full story. Advise them on what they could do to better their situations and you just might find that these victims will start to behave differently--siding with their abusers while turning you into the enemy. The victim turned partner in crime wants to look good in the eyes of his or her hot-tempered husband or wife and doesn't want him or her to know that there has been some talking going on.  Whether the hurting individual feels guilty for sharing information or worried that something might come out that he or she doesn't want to, there will be some manipulating of information that will take place to protect one's self. What better way to get a troubled partner off the victim's back then...

It's All In the Family: My Baby Wouldn't Hurt Anyone - When Mother Doesn't... : We have those family members who will tell the world just how much they love us.  They will fight, lie, create a protest, and do more when ...

The writing is usually on the wall early on in the relationship when you feel uneasy having a disagreement with your partner or friend, "This person is scary...I get kind of scared with him...What's wrong with her?"  The controller looks at you strangely.  The angry individual might take up your personal space by getting in your face.  You find yourself walking backward, cowering, flinching, or looking anywhere, but in his or her eyes. Sometimes these mean-spirited men and women take out their aggression on their pets.  You think it is awful how they treat their animals, but you dismiss it.  Some don't mind showing off their weapons and making threatening jokes like, "You mess with me and one day I will use this...You got it!  Oh honey, I'm just kidding."  Others will smash something when angry or make loud sounds to shake you up.  "Next time it will be your face!  Keep on calling me names, you know what happened last...

You saved up quite a bit of money before you met your abuser.  You had less debt before he or she came into your life.  You seemed to be doing quite well.  But then the controlling partner got into your head with all his or her costly ideas.  The individual told you, "Let's go here, let's do that...I'll help."  There's just one problem, he or she doesn't make as much money as you do.  So who is going to be paying for most, if not all of what he or she is asking for? So many victims fall prey to economic abuse when dealing with the emotionally and/or physically abusive womanizers, gold-diggers and the like whether they have much, little or no money.  These sneaky men and women talk about taking out loans, credit cards, using income tax refund money, and anything else to help with whatever costly plan they conjure up.  The victims, who go along with their abuser's agendas, believe that they are always in control of their money, but the reality is...

Whether he picked a fight after he saw you talking to a man while you were out or she had issue with you doing something yet again with the children, the abusive partner is in the mood to yell, curse, slam a few things around, and even slap you a few times. I recall a time when I avoided the physical abuse, but I had to hear the long rant.  The crazy man was yelling about what?  To this day, I really don't know.  I remember trying to explain, but to no avail.  He put the parked car in the dark parking lot in drive and off we went down the road quickly.  He was braking hard and I had tears in my eyes.  You don't think at the time about leaving.  You don't worry about tomorrow.  All you want to do is get through that moment.  You just want the yelling to stop.  If they push you too hard, it is then that you end up acting just as crazy as them.  Once you get going, you can't stop.  Every curse word is flying and you feel like...

He lies, she cheats or vice versa.  They both found out about yet another secretive thing they did behind one another's backs.  One goes and cries on mother's shoulder, "I want a divorce...I hate her!  I'm taking the kids!"  The other sits with her lover, "He never did love me...You are so much better than he ever was!"  So the seed of revenge take root.  She wants to start parading her new beau around her jealous ex before the ink is dry on the divorce.  The husband thinks that showing off the new items that he bought with the joint savings account will shove it to her real good!  One day these acts of revenge will come back to haunt them. Before one thinks about paying an emotionally and/or abusive mate back with a few "in your face" moves, you might want to think twice.  Not everyone is emotionally stable to handle venegeful tactics and there are those who will not hesitate to find a way to make their mates and the children suffer immen...

Loving Myself Welcomes Nicholl McGuire, Author/Poet/Speaker/Virtual Assistant 06/09 by The Media Network | Motivation Podcasts