Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

She was so grateful to be free from a miserable relationship that included slaps, chokes, threats, and stalking.  However, what she didn't realize is that soon after coming out of the physically abusive one, she would walk into the arms of a controlling man with a sharp tongue.  He trained her like a sergeant in the military.  When she strayed left, he used his threatening demeanor to yell, "Go right!"  And so she marched, "Left right left..." her selfish husband was not a loving person.  He didn't think much of people, had no friends, and was far from compassionate. When you are in a relationship with someone who advises, instructs and even shares one's personal thoughts in a way that demeans, ridicules, or makes one fearful, you often find yourself acting out with others.  You yell, you push back, you fight, and most of all you isolate yourself from those who know you best.  One who walks away from an abusive relationship isn't necessarily free u

You may have remained quiet when he cursed you, avoided a confrontation that may have become quit physical, got swept in the argument and called him every name under the sun, or chose to live a life where you avoid him as much as possible.  My question to you is, "How much do you value your life?" No one is required to "stick it out" with someone who obviously doesn't like you, places blame, or acts disrespectfully toward you, even the God of the Holy Bible isn't going to put no more burdens on you than you can bear.  You do have options.   You can save your money and find a place to live away from the discord.  You can live with a roommate.  You can move into separate rooms.  You can stay so busy that you are often not at home.  But whatever you do, realize your worth! When you don't care much about yourself, who will?  When you choose to accept someone's frequent misconduct as "okay...he was just having a hard day...things happen,"  w

The rules are typically set early on, during the courtship, from the way he or she looks at you when you mention "I was talking to my friend..." to "Why did you buy that for them?"  Your potentially violent partner is letting you know, in so many words, "I am controlling, jealous, and in time you will do what I tell you to or else." Most people meeting someone for the first time or starting a dating relationship, don't notice the signs.  When strange feelings surface, one will push those emotions down, reason that everyone has their flaws, or talk one's self out of being protective.  "She didn't mean it that way...He really isn't possessive, I mean we just started dating...Everyone has their share of problems, no big deal!"  However, you should wonder why someone, who doesn't know you that well, feels like they should tell you what to do with your personal life such as who to talk to and how you should spend your money and o

Thank you for stopping by!   I just want readers to know that for years I have posted content to this blog in an effort to help individuals and groups find solutions when it comes to issues related to abuse. Emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse and other abuses are never to be taken to lightly!  When we know that someone is being verbally or physically assaulted, we are to open our mouths and speak up!  Taking on that all-too-common attitude of "It's none of my business..." just might be the last time you see that person who is going through all sorts of psychological warfare. I remember a time when a few had an inkling or blatantly knew about my abusive experiences, and said nothing to me, but everything to those around me.  It was only a matter of time that darkness came to light for all to see, but had many spoke up, maybe there wouldn't have been a blog.  With enough peer pressure to get out of a situation, the one in it just might consider getting ou

"That's not what I said...you are mistaken...what I really meant was...you don't know what I'm talking about..." the gas lighter is going to distract you from truth, so you don't expose his lie!  The woman in this video shares valuable insight about Gaslighting and her experience about the middle of the video.  

A once single person may enter into a relationship in the hopes that a man or woman will provide him or her with things like: love, security, material wealth, children, vacations, and more, but how much suffering will one allow to maintain such a lifestyle? Those who are in tough relationships with difficult people, suffer much!    A moody partner with a short fuse may be content one day, but threatening the next.  There are no rewards for putting up with such behavior.  No amount of goods will bring peace to a troubled relationship headed for destruction!  This is why many run to the church, a support group, use alcohol/drugs, take up a hobby, frequently talk or go out with family and friends, they know what they are living with! Living life is challenging enough, but far worse when dealing with a hot headed man or woman who is unhappy with how his or her life is going these days.  Despite warnings from loved ones to do some things different, the verbally or non-verbally abusive o