Friday

When is Enough Enough?

What you probably deal with in your home is probably something that I wouldn't tolerate in my own home.  Hi, I'm Nicholl McGuire, self-published author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.

I thought that I would take this time to share some thoughts about relationship conflict and abuse.  Now, I know for some reading this, there is a thin line between love and hate especially when you have been abused.  I am one of those personalities that don't have much patience for foolishness and less patience when it comes to lies, half-truths, and a negative disposition from a partner whether it is about me or not.  So for me, being in a relationship is at times very challenging and there are those moments that I prefer to be left alone.  But for some, you can take a whole lot, can't you?!

I have heard and read many stories online and I am thinking, "What I went through is nothing, compared to what others have gone through!"  Yet, we are all different and some people just feel like it is a badge of honor to stay with someone 20 plus years even if they have gotten hit upside their heads a few too many times over the years.  They rather make it last then to break up, well to each his or her own.  However, enough becomes enough when you say, "I have had enough!"  Now if that takes 10, 15 or 20 plus years then so be it.  No amount of talking or walking you and I can do to convince you to leave someone you still believe you love and loves you will help.  That's why for some men and women, a parent, best friend, mentor, and even a child can beg and plead that they break up, and the couple just won't!  Come hell or high water, they are in it for the long hall!  Some might think, "Wow, she really does love him!  He truly wants her in his life!"  But at what cost?  How many abusive scenes must a child endure before he or she starts acting like one or both of the argumentative parents?  How long will she keep taking him lying and cheating on her before she has a mental melt down?  How will he deal with the next explosive episode when she starts berating and hitting him?  We must stop with all the praise when it comes to how long someone has been in a relationship when we know something just isn't sitting right with us; instead ask, "Is everything okay?  Do you need any help?"  Of course, he or she will probably say, "No or what do you mean?"  Then you can say something like, "Is everything really alright with you and...."  so what they get offended at least you did your part, you showed you cared.

Maybe you are that person who needs some mental, spiritual and physical guidance.  Maybe you are in search of happiness in everything, but that man or woman at home.  If so, let us take this time to pray (that is if you have a faith).

"Heavenly Father, I ask that you be with my friend who is hurting right now.  He/she wishes to have a life that is peaceful, loving, kind, and mirrors who you are and what you represent.  Free her/him of the misery of being in a mentally and physically draining relationship.  Move on this person to have courage, to bind worry and fear and to walk in light and not in darkness.  Heal this person of past abuses and lead him/her to safety. Give he or she favor with those who are near and dear to help.  Use your angels to protect him/her from all harm and danger.  In Jesus Name..."

Read Psalm 91.  Trust in God and he will direct your path!

Nicholl McGuire

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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