Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

You see yourself in the mirror, you sit down for a bite to eat, you talk on the phone, or you walk by your abuser on the way to the bathroom, and all you can think about is that thing he or she said or did to you the other night, two weeks ago, or a couple months back.  You think you are losing it, you attempt to shake the ugly scene(s), but it keeps coming back.  What to do? Well, the explosive arguments don't go away easily.  Depending on how impactful they were on your mind, body and spirit, they will interrupt your routines like a breaking news report during a favorite television program.  The best thing to do is to keep pushing these negative scenes out of your mind and think about something else like: goals to complete for the day, children that need your attention, work, house chores, etc.  There are various instrumental brainwave music that helps with relaxation, getting to sleep, breaking bad habits, and more.  Try spending some time each day meditating on some positive

This is a non-fiction book of spiritual wisdom, moving personal experiences, and awareness of issues that affect both sons and daughters who have had their share of daddy issues and are struggling to go low or no contact with these men.  The challenges of having a troubled father or guardian in or out of the home affect generations and if the pain of the past is left unaddressed, innocent people will suffer as a result. Many women and men end up in miserable relationships due to connecting with mates who remind them of toxic relatives.  Once these hurting individuals come to the realization that they have been negatively influenced, mentally and/or physically bound, and made to feel afraid for years by men, who claimed to love them, it is time to make needed changes. Let Say Goodbye to Dad   by Nicholl McGuire be yet another eye-opener to add to your life and help with your emotional, physical and spiritual journey toward being happy, carefree, and independent from the difficult

Do you really want to spend a beautiful time in a wonderful city you always wanted to go with your controlling partner?  Would you feel comfortable sharing your deepest secrets, your passions, your goals, and more with someone who has a history of turning everything positive you say into something negative? Watch your mouth those of you who have suffered much so far with these abusive types.  You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt.  Just imagine going to that jaw-dropping country-side with your angry partner only to be arguing about the price of something and possibly being physically hurt in that location.  Those images that were once so sweet and innocent in your mind are no more when you start thinking of that location.  Years ago, I recalled a place where my abuser had yelled and called me many names.  It wasn't a special spot or some magical place I had dreamt of.  Yet, once I got out of that emotionally draining relationship, every time I passed that spot (for a

As strange as it may seem, many victims in relationships are envious of exes who are free from abusive partners.  The upset isn't about so much what the exe had with the former lover/friend/spouse, but the jealousy is also stimulated by the thoughts that these exes are no longer swindled, bamboozled, or hoodwinked by their former manipulators.  Yet, current partners are.  Their jealousy tends to come out in bizarre ways from the way they disrespect a partner's children to rages over unintentional mistakes.  Name-calling, bad-mouthing and more are done by victims behind the backs of abusers and former partners.  Sometimes there are no obvious reasons other than angry victims being trapped in their controlling mates' webs while their minds go crazy. I recall a moment where I met my abuser's ex-girlfriend and mother of his son and I had an odd feeling come over me.  When I look back, the woman was free--free from the nutcase I was with.  She didn't have to deal with

Screaming at you yet again for what appears to be no apparent reason, the fatherless son or daughter is in pain.  Pushing, shoving, kicking again wanting out of the box that reminds one of his or her abusive father.  So you thought you were over the grief when daddy died in your mind, body or externally? Those who have grieved their fathers in healthy ways did so by facing the facts that Dad just didn't love them in the way that they should have been loved.  They read books, attended counseling sessions and did other things to free their minds, bodies and other things tied to toxic fathers and enabling mothers.  So when the opportunity comes to date a fatherless son or daughter, with much emotional baggage, the unsuspecting just don't know what they are getting themselves into when they do.  Rather than deal with issues, some will avoid dating any longer, others will persuade themselves into continuing a troubled relationship while abusers will deal with problems by abusing