Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

He thinks you don't pay attention to the money that suddenly goes missing, the keys that are moved, the odd times he shows up, and the excuses he makes.  She doesn't think you know about what she has hidden away, who she has been talking to, and what she has been doing behind your back.   The abuser says, "You don't know what you are talking about...I left it right there, I gave it back to you...that was just my friend on the phone...I never told you that!  Why are you asking me questions?  I didn't take anything from you!" You feel like you are losing your mind in an emotionally abusive and/or violent relationship.  You second-guess yourself.  You get angry over little things, lose your temper more often, and sometimes plot revenge on your partner.  You could have sworn your mate told you something the other day he or she was supposed to do, but when questioned about it, the story changes.  You might even know someone going through something similar wh

They gather around television screens and will boldly tell all females in the household or elsewhere, "Don't interrupt, find something to do...be quiet when the game is on!"  As a woman, it doesn't matter how much you think you know about the sport.  Like some churches won't permit women to stand at the pulpit, neither will some men accept women sharing their thoughts about a game without shutting them down, looking at them evilly, or waving their hand at them like they are annoying flies. Now there is that one woman who isn't going to be ignored, and just might say a few too many things to a man who is already angry about the bad calls that are being made in a "scripted" game.  She might point out some legitimate things about what she sees and share her knowledge of "show business," but her timing is all wrong!  Just like it was wrong for her sister, friend, and others who were physically assaulted, because they said too much while the

"If she hadn't jumped in his face, if he would have stopped yelling at her...if the two just walked away--none of this would have happened!" the critics always have their reasons as to why the woman or the man or both got what they deserved in an abusive relationship .  Some will even go so far to say, "I would have slapped and kicked her too!  He's lucky it wasn't me, I would have punched him so hard, he would have been seeing stars!  The two of them need both their butts beaten!" While so many lips are on their "Should have, could have" rant, another woman and yet another is being abused.  For every incident that takes place, there is an individual or group blaming the victim afterward.  "This wouldn't have happened had she..."  How can the mentally and/or physically sick, used and abused help herself?   What can be done when tempers are flared, arms are swinging, and kids are crying?  Rarely does anyone run from a fight