Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Hello, Thank you so much for stopping by this blog and clicking on the various categories. Back in 2007, I published Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate after over ten years of being out of my abusive relationship. The writings were recorded while laboring to love my abuser. What finally broke us up was the police and the court system. I hope the same thing will NEVER happen to those of you currently in abusive relationships, but if it does, it is the best thing for you if you don't have a plan of escape. The day the officers came, they saved my life! Being in an abusive relationship is like being addicted to a drug--it's difficult to stop being with an abuser without intervention. Feel free to follow me @nichollmcguire. I don't tweet about all things abusive, but I do provide useful information about a little bit of everything. So follow me today! Thanks for your support! Also, you can follow me at @helpforpeople. Nicholl McGuire Blogger

You may be busy with work, meeting your mate's needs, children, and other activities. Every time you have a moment of peace and quiet, an inner voice on the inside says, "You need to rid yourself of this bad relationship." But you don't listen. You think that things will get better. Maybe they have for a day or two maybe even a week or a month, but then you find yourself arguing yet again. Before long, you are hitting or being hit by the person you say you love. There is something wrong, very wrong. Make up in your mind to find peace. Prepare a plan that will release you from unnecessary burdens. Nicholl McGuire Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

It was during my time working in England a few years ago when I first wondered about the jealous-man-syndrome. On the way to my apartment at the end of each day, the sight of men sitting patiently in their cars waiting to pick up their wives or girlfriends at work impressed me. Not until one day when a woman friend said that her man always insisted on picking her up after work on the dot each day. If she needed to go for a drink or anywhere else for that matter, she had to tell him in advance. I realized in retrospect that what I was impressed about as men who were taking good care of their ladies were really not there in the parking space for the best of purposes. It is interesting to note that the biggest problems in the dating scene are the controlling and jealous men who are anxious to seek someone to love and relate with. Yet when they have her, they do subtle things to subject her to a sense of reliance on him, hiding behind the mask of "loving her and want

How to Know Your Mate is Abusive This is the audio version of my article on this site "How to Know Your Mate is Abusive" and is also an excerpt from my book entitled: Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate written by Nicholl McGuire. Read More

Do you know the basic steps on how to avoid dating violence? Are you aware of how dating nightmares such as physical and emotional abuse can affect your self-esteem? How do you protect yourself from being on the receiving end of abuse in dating? Dating can be fun but it could make a turn for the worse if you end up with an abusive partner. Here are a few insights on how to avoid dating violence. The first step on how to avoid dating violence is to avoid guys who drink a lot or those who are into drugs. Alcohol and drugs can affect any person's disposition, making him more irritable and more prone to inflicting harm on other people. In order to avoid dating violence, you have to stay away from men who have a higher tendency of being violent when provoked. Overly jealous guys are also to be avoided. It's only natural for a guy to be jealous of his girlfriend's attention to other men. However, when the jealousy turns into possessiveness, it can get really dange

When most people think of abuse in a marriage, they naturally figure that the man is beating the woman (in some cases, the woman actually beats the man). Abuse does not always involve violence though. The greatest form of abuse that is experienced in a troubled marriage is verbal abuse. What exactly is verbal abuse? It is hostile language that is specifically meant to demean and hurt the listener. Many, including the courts, take the side that it is harmless, but that's completely false. It can be just as dangerous as someone waving a knife in your face. This is because it is often a precursor to physical violence. Generally, someone doesn't just walk up to another person and start punching them for no reason. Everything begins with words. Many people know there is no law against verbal abuse in the United States so it probably isn't considered a real problem. These people are wrong. Intense verbal abuse can cause a victim to have feelings of low self wo

This is some creepy deal. He says he loves you, yet he hits you and then you don't know what to make of it because you are head over heels in love with him. While some say 'If he hits you once, he will most definitely hit you again', others choose 'Not all physical altercation between lovers continues to re-occur'. Now you are stuck in the middle, having to decide. Its two ways actually, it's either, you walk away and never get to realize if the love would have grown better and he never would have hit you again, or you decide to stay in the relationship and meet your untimely death. Yeah! Real scary. I happened to be in an abusive relationship once. And when I got out, I knew better than to ever think of going back. I guess I used to see the signs, but I just decided not to dwell on them. The fact that he was overtly jealous didn't give me cause for concern because I took it that he loved me so much, hence the high level of jealousy and poss