Monday

When He Hits You

This is some creepy deal. He says he loves you, yet he hits you and then you don't know what to make of it because you are head over heels in love with him. While some say 'If he hits you once, he will most definitely hit you again', others choose 'Not all physical altercation between lovers continues to re-occur'. Now you are stuck in the middle, having to decide. Its two ways actually, it's either, you walk away and never get to realize if the love would have grown better and he never would have hit you again, or you decide to stay in the relationship and meet your untimely death. Yeah! Real scary.

I happened to be in an abusive relationship once. And when I got out, I knew better than to ever think of going back. I guess I used to see the signs, but I just decided not to dwell on them. The fact that he was overtly jealous didn't give me cause for concern because I took it that he loved me so much, hence the high level of jealousy and possessiveness. It started one day, he saw me talking with an old friend, I could see the dark glances he kept casting my way but I chose not to jump to conclusions as I have always been accused of.

We got home, I was singing happily concluding the trip as fun, while unknown to me he was planning his next move. Before the door could hook up with its frame, I had a good slap to my face and it went on from there. As was expected, the romance began the next morning and flowers, cards, chocolates (my weakness) began to fly in my direction, coupled with well cemented professions of love, I was on board faster than I had dropped out.

A month later, he concluded I had lied to him and I took a kick to my rib as my punishment. As usual that is the beginning of the series. I knew I was in an abusive relationship and had to help myself before I was helped. Looking back now, I don't regret leaving that relationship because for all I know I might have been left for dead and you wouldn't have had the opportunity to read this article. You see!

Someone once told me, I think he hits me because he likes me. Even though I saw that as outright daft, I agreed with her, in fact when the like grows to love then he'll be checking you in and out of the hospital for broken ribs. Come on! How low could one's self esteem get? If a guy truly loves you, he will never hit you, he will never use profane words on you. Note my repetition of the word never. Drugs and drinks are just over used excuses to the behavior of a deranged man.

I for one, am of the school of thought that if he hits you once, then he is going to hit you again. The exception is if he seeks help. Slaps and kicks only begin the cycle called domestic violence. It will progress to something worse than that. Flee while you can. One time is too many a time. There might not be a doubt that he loves you but until he learns to put his anger under check, you cant be too close to him. He is like a dog who plays with his master this minute and in a flick of an eye, acts outraged.
Most women do not opt out because they do not have an option. Leaving a secured life for the unknown is not anyone's favorite. I've said my piece, a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do.

By Tricia Ikponmwonba

Medifocus.com,Inc.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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