Tuesday

He Doesn't Have to Hit You to Be Abusive

When most people think of abuse in a marriage, they naturally figure that the man is beating the woman (in some cases, the woman actually beats the man). Abuse does not always involve violence though. The greatest form of abuse that is experienced in a troubled marriage is verbal abuse.

What exactly is verbal abuse? It is hostile language that is specifically meant to demean and hurt the listener. Many, including the courts, take the side that it is harmless, but that's completely false. It can be just as dangerous as someone waving a knife in your face. This is because it is often a precursor to physical violence. Generally, someone doesn't just walk up to another person and start punching them for no reason. Everything begins with words.

Many people know there is no law against verbal abuse in the United States so it probably isn't considered a real problem. These people are wrong. Intense verbal abuse can cause a victim to have feelings of low self worth and low self esteem. Consequently, these people run the risk of falling into a clinical depression and suffering a post-traumatic stress disorder. These medical conditions sometimes have a lasting affect on the victim.

Since the law has no recourse against verbal abusers, what can victims do? Recognize that verbal abuse requires an abuser and a participator, the victim. If you want to stop the abuse, don't just sit there and listen; walk away. When you stay, the stronger the abuser feels, and his attacks may become more frequent and crueler. The best way to stop being a victim is to stop allowing someone to make you one.

For additional help, speak to a women's counselor or a trusted family member or friend. You deserve better than what you have now.
 
By Jayan B
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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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