Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

The following is a list of items individuals and groups can use to spread the word about domestic violence.  Consider these tools when organizing an event, teaching classes, speaking and more.  People need to know that domestic violence happens every nine seconds.  Most cases go unreported.  The impact of family violence on other family members is long-lasting and may continue on affecting other generations.  Stop the violence, don't enable it! Books Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men She's Crazy - battered men Movies Every 9 Seconds Shattered Dreams Music No Harm Done (Songs Against Domestic Violence) Rise Up Against Domestic Violence Through Music Vol. 1 Jewelry PinMart's Purple Ribbon Survivor Pin Domestic Violence Silicone Bracelet Domestic Violence Awareness Shirt

Praying, wishing, hoping, loving, and wanting your partner to change, you believe that love is the cure all.  You believe that if you just do everything right that the relationship experts say, your mother tells you, and of course the abuser, that all will be okay. How much more money do you have to spend to buy peace in your household? How often do you have to sexually please him/her? What entertainment do you have to provide? Where do you have to go and what do you have to do to ensure the abuser doesn't blow up on you? The extent that a victim will go just to appease an emotionally or physically abusive partner would leave outsiders speechless. No matter what you do for someone who has many unresolved past issues will never be good enough.  It doesn't take much to awaken the demon within.  Love won't keep the abusive man or woman from cursing, acting threatening, or even hitting you, the pet, or doing something else to get his or her aggression out. How many m

I have had the blessing and the curse of having some very straightforward people in my social circles over decades.  The kind of men and women who give you the truth with no chaser.  "Look your boyfriend is ugly...I don't know what you see in him.  Stop dating broke men!  You are better than that..."  Can I say you need bold people like that around you until you are back on your feet again? As you progress, you might want to lose them, because negative people have their share of baggage and after awhile you outgrow them.  Anyway... Look, I have been transparent for years all around the web and shared my testimony of freedom, peace and increase after coming out of a very bad relationship over a couple decades ago and another mentally draining one soon after that.  I personally want abused men and women to win!  Use their mistakes in life to propel them, but not continue to allow poor decisions to suffocate, bind, and rob them of better lives in the near future. I have

Permanent scars, they are evident on the faces, arms, backs and legs of many women and men who have been abused by intimate partners.  Creams, lotions, and other health and beauty items can't take away the unsightly markings on bodies or scars on one's heart.  Not everything is fixable. Looking at the face of a forty-something woman, the scar tissue was beyond repair around her puffy eyes after being repeatedly left with black and blue markings on them on and off for well over a decade.  Another woman who had also been badly wounded over the years by her abuser had markings on her body that never went away.  A man who had been fighting with all his lovers in the past, presently lives with old scratches that never healed from the top of his hands after women clawed him over and over again from his attempts to choke them out.  Yesterdays war wounds are reminders of lost tempers. The longer one stays in an abusive relationship, the more he or she finds self in a battle with a

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You hope, wish and pray for a better year now that the number on the calendar has changed, but those of us who have been in abusive relationships know better.  Things don't change just because a year has changed.  If anything, a toxic connection only worsens.  The words become more vicious, the trials more difficult, and the emotional and physical bondage only tightens as the years of abuse increase in number!  It must be nice talking one's self into believing a relationship is getting better, but the truth is the abuser's temperament is simply put on ice for now...cooled off due to the holiday glee until the next issue comes up.  Victims and abusers make a lot of promises.  They sugar-coat their difficult relationship with trips, treats, and deceit.  Deep inside the couples know they are not going to change.  The angry man or woman will be doing more of the same in the new year and the victim will continue to go along just to get along until she or he grows weary of th