They make excuses for it. They lie about it. They say it won't happen again. They tell family and friends it isn't what you think. Abuse. Victims come in many different colors, social classes, and more. They don't want to believe they are being emotionally and physically beaten with or without words, hands, and other things.
"What? I don't know what you are talking about! I am fine. Leave me alone. I have dealt with this for a long time. I know how to handle him..." the victim defends her sickness. In love with a man who plays mind games, makes false promises, isolates her, cheats, steals, lies, and tells her how bad she is when he feels down.
Don't deny the trials you are in or have been going through for quite some time. You might live with them for now, but you are to grow from them. Your eyes are focused on freedom, not bondage. The survivors know this all too well. True survivors don't go back, they don't say things like, "We," they say, "I" and they definitely stop hoping that one day things will get better.
Victims are still focused on "We" even when the abuser says, "I" and "me." Victims make excuses for incompatible partners, lie about their relationships, cover up their pain, complain often, bad mouth about others, find faults in messengers, hate their lives, and are often scared or nervous especially around their abusers. They lean on everything from cigarettes to food to comfort them.
Pretenders (false survivors) don't want to believe that anything is wrong with them or their relationships. Take for instance, a victim rubs her sore back after being repeatedly kicked and says, "It's okay, he was drunk." A battered man puts a cold compress on his eye. "I'm okay, she was just in one of her moods." These are people walking around with a mental illness. The sickness they have is their partners.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy. These nonfiction eBooks are available on Smashwords.
Based on a book with the same title written by Nicholl McGuire, this domestic and dating violence blog offers support to anyone who is laboring to love an emotionally or physically abusive partner. Feel free to explore numerous relationship and family issues. Please be advised to seek a professional for counsel on abuse. Contributors are not all licensed or trained in relationship counseling, domestic abuse, and teen dating violence. Please be advised this is a public blog.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.
Resources for Physical, Emotional or Sexual Abuse
Additional Domestic Violence Resources
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate Blog Topics
abuse
abuse braggers
abuse in the church
abuse resources
abused men
abused women
abusive behavior
abusive men
abusive women
alcohol abuse
alcoholism
anger
animal abuse
battered men
boyfriend
cheating
child abuse
children
clinical
codependency
condition
control
controlling men
controlling women
dating
dating violence
deacons wife
depressed
depression
divorce resources
domestic violence
domestic violence awareness
domestic violence charity
domestic violence help
drug abuse
emotional abuse
family
father
girlfriend
help
how to get free exposure on this site
infidelity
intimate partner violence
laboring to love
laboring to love book
leadership abuse
love
male midlife
marrige counseling
men cheating
menopause
mental health
midlife
midlife crisis
military
money
mother
parents
physical abuse
pms
poetry about domestic violence
poetry book
power
preachers wife
rape
resources for abuse
sex
sexual abuse
shelters
signs of abuse
silent treatment
spiritual abuse
suicide
support
survivors
teen dating
teenager
traumatic stress disorder
types of abuse
verbal abuse
victim
victims
violence
why women stay
No comments:
Post a Comment