Thursday

So You are Defending Your Emotional or Physical Abuser? We Don't Trust You

Why did six police officers show up when the call came through from a neighbor that I needed help and that my abuser was trying to kill me?  For over two decades, I said nothing about this small detail, the reason was simple, those officers didn't know who or what was really behind our apartment door prior to entering. 

They didn't know if I would attempt to attack them for apprehending him.  They didn't know if a gun, knife or anything else was being used in our fighting.  In my case, it was a hot iron.  They had no clue whether I or he would go off on everyone answering that call.  They just didn't know. The paramedics showed up too and they were very watchful and quick to remove me out of the scene.

Some of you, those who are still being emotionally and/or physically abused, might talk about how you don't like a lot about a partner with relatives and friends from the way he or she talks to you to how aggressive the individual is with you.  But if you saw your partner being put on his or her back by officers or your loved ones beating him or her up, you might be tempted to want to defend him or her.  You are untrustworthy.  You are unstable.  And no, they don't believe what you say like how much you hate him or her today and then love that person the next.  Did you catch that? 

You might talk about how you are going to leave, but you haven't yet.  Your mind, heart and feet are still planted with your controller.  You may have boasted about how you have this and that going for you like material wealth and other things, but you are still with someone who disrespects you and feeds off of making you do what he or she asks or demands. 

Your actions and inactions in the relationship tell those that would like to help you that you don't have your personal life together.  They just might be wishy-washy or slow about reaching out to you, because they don't have a clue what your next move might be concerning your roller coaster ride relationship. 

From employers to strangers on the street, most people don't take any chances with their safety with victims of dating or domestic violence.  They know victims have been manipulated and sometimes they tend to manipulate.  If you are in a relationship like this, you most likely already used some emotional games on others to try to control them.  You may have went around the power and control wheel with your loved ones not realizing that is what you are doing.

So before you get angry and stay angry with loved ones and friends realize they are on the outside looking in.  Picture this, they are free and you are still in a cage with someone who might claim to love you, but we aren't convinced.

Nicholl McGuire maintains this blog and shares relationship tips and other spiritually related counsel on YouTube Channel NM Enterprise 7.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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