Mean, Impatient Boyfriend, Spouse

Another week has gone by and you made it, still alive and breathing, but for how long?  Some of you have been under intense emotional and physical stress and see no light at the end of the tunnel.  But there is hope, you can change your mindset way before your feet do any walking.  How might you do that?  Well, for starters stop making excuses for the controlling man's behavior.

I know you love this person and really want things to be different.  But mean and impatient people, like your partner, will prove over and over again that they have no intention of changing.  They will place blame, lie, cover-up actions, and pretend as if nothing is wrong in public.  You can take control of the relationship gradually by empowering yourself.  What is it that you want to do with your life?

Thinking of the pros and cons in a mean boyfriend and spouse will only trick your mind into thinking you are with someone who is a good person.  You know different.  Sure, there are those "good" times when he is doing right by you, but those moments are just what they are, moments in time.  Be honest with yourself, you made a bad choice in a partner and you feel miserable around him.  Now you will need to start redirecting your focus.

This mean-spirited person will detect a change in you as you surround yourself with positive people, places and things.  Before long, he will be critical of your new circle and you.  Don't give into his pressure!  So many abused women will do just that, and find themselves back into their locked cages with their abusive partners while making excuses, "I really didn't hit it off with them...they were nice people, I guess but...My boyfriend said he heard...I don't think I really want to go there anymore."

A mean boyfriend or spouse needs someone who is willing to take his abuse.  If you are the punching bag, he is going to use you when the world seems too stressful for him to bear.  Like a toddler with a temper tantrum, a mentally disturbed man or woman will act out.  Tell yourself, "I will no longer be available for him emotionally or physically to continue to hurt me."  Say this each day and you will begin to find your strength again.  The benefit of saying positive affirmations (you can find more on the Internet) is shutting the negative voice of a partner out and learning to listen to your own once again.  Other things you can do:  Avoid him when he is angry.  Find something else to do with your time rather than sitting next to him during your off days.  Not allowing him to dictate where you go, what you do, how to dress, and more.  Of course, he will argue, act out, and do other things.  Keep reading on how to deal with this.

There are many older and younger women that permitted their mates over and over again to do and say things to them that were hurtful.  Therefore, their partners got used to behaving meanly with them, because boundaries were never established.  If you feel that it is unsafe to make any changes as mentioned earlier, you will need to strongly consider an exit plan.  This would include: speaking with a professional counselor, personal friend, or police officer about what you want to do, attend a meeting for abused women (check for some in your local area or attend a church service), and learn more about breaking up for men and women in controlling relationships--there is a process, so do your research so that you are not causing yourself further harm.

Nicholl McGuire

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.


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