Monday

Male Privilege - The Master of The Castle

Many of us have witnessed how certain women in our families behaved around their partners.  These men were the kings of their castles, so to speak.  Meanwhile, the women acted like servants or slaves to their mates.  The controlling men made the important decisions and told their women what to say and do to them and around others.  Any woman who violated "the rules" dealt with emotional and possible physical abuse.  A threatening stare, a raised tone of voice, or an item slammed by her husband/boyfriend and the nervous woman was quickly put in check whether in front of her family or elsewhere.

This is why many of us have had difficult relationships with the opposite sex over the years--I'm a witness, because we refused to be treated like those women who went before us.  However, some of us also fell into the same trap by being tricked into being with controlling men.  They were clever in how they went about courting us until we got to know them and the newness wore off.  For some of you young women, be careful what you say you "...won't do" or "...will not put up with," because life has a way of dealing you out a familiar deck of cards especially if controlling men are often around you.

These men that believe they reign supreme over others, god-like, and believe that their money and material wealth is all that matters in life, usually find themselves alone in old age, unhappy, or prematurely put in their graves because of their misdeeds.  Just like the women, men will meet their Maker one day sooner or later.

I think of the many abusive men that were deemed by relatives and friends as so-called "strong" I came across in life.  But these men weren't really strong, they had issues, deeply ingrained disturbing mental problems that they covered up with charm and eating and dressing well.

Having reflected on the past, I can't help but feel at peace knowing that justice was served with some of these mean-spirited men.  Many of their mistreated partners out-lived them and were finally able to live freely long after they were gone.  Others that didn't continue to walk this earth are now resting in peace no longer having to put up and shut up.

Any single woman dating someone she suspects is controlling, please know that once you hand over your last name to a master of his castle type, he doesn't see you as a woman, he sees you as another piece of property he can manage, maintain, put in its place, and control.  He will say things like, "I don't like it when you...you should...Stay away from...Why do you talk to...It bothers me when you go there...I don't like your hair...I don't like your clothes...Stay with me...I miss you when you're gone..Do this...Help me with that...I need you...This is my house, my car, my money!"  Notice everything is about him.  Now try talking to him about your needs and see if he will step up to the plate and do what you ask?  Does a partner give you lots of attitude, makes excuses, rolls his eyes, deep sighs, argues with you, gives you the silent treatment, or pouts?

Men who believe they are kings in their homes, don't move unless they feel like it and everyone around them must act according to their commands, feelings, etc.  These "kings" are the ones who get the best piece of meat, their special treats, the most expensive gifts, quality living whether he pays for it or his partner does, and more.  These selfish men may give out small handouts in an effort to get needs met while saving them much money and time.  Their requests usually far exceed what they are willing to give in return.

Kings don't like to be talked to unless there are some personal benefits received.  Kings don't like to work too hard, they prefer to delegate responsibilities.  Kings don't feel they need to build any alliances, they prefer people come to them, but if they are left with no choice, they might attend an event or two to appear as if they and family are doing well.  And so, this is the life that a woman who validates the Master of his Castle has to put up with in exchange for her basic needs being met by him.

Don't think that the "old school" lifestyle went away with the feminist movement, because it hasn't! Say a prayer for those you know and don't know who live like this.

Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.