Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Before you met that man you call your boyfriend, lover, partner, or husband, you had a simple life.  You could manage it.  There wasn't much happening and you actually smiled more than frowned.  But these days, it becomes increasingly challenging to smile, laugh at his jokes, or even be in the same room with him.  For some of you, you feel like a part of you is a tad bit crazy, insane, or a bit weird since meeting your partner.  You're not alone.  Do you find yourself doing any of the following? 1.  Worried much about things like: whether he is telling you the truth or not, seeing someone else, or doing something he knows you don't like.  He is often quiet, beating around the bush when you confront him, ignores you, argues, or jokes. 2.  Looking through his things while your stomach and head aches. You are concerned about what more you might find. 3.  Thinking far too much about what he does when you aren't around him.  You hope to catch him in yet another lie.

You don't suspect anything when you pass some couples on the street, stand behind them in lines, or sit near them at restaurants, but it won't be long now before they will be fighting. Oftentimes the conflict starts as a result of outside influences.  Some single women don't think twice before they are flirting with a man who is obviously in a relationship .  Consider this, the woman standing or sitting next to him might be a victim or an abuser and she is watching.  But silly, desperate women could care less until the couple's issues become theirs.  Then there are those additional irritations between couples like:  being hungry, sitting in traffic, busy-body relatives who don't know when to shut up, differing opinions, and annoying children. It isn't long before one or both are at the point in their minds when they just can't take much else. Most of us would eat something, go to bed, get out the home, or talk to someone on the phone. However, some coup

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When abused women of decades past advised their married daughters to have separate bank accounts, they didn't advise this because they wanted to ruin marriages; rather they knew the kind of men their daughters were involved with and the chances their relationships might be good in the long-term was highly unlikely.  Men with much or little money that don't allow wives any access, not even a peak at their bank statements, do indeed hold the power.  Their worries over what their wives might do with their finances is irrelevant here.  To stay on point, this blog entry relates to husbands with money controlling wives who don't have any unless they choose to give them some. Some of these controlling husbands, boyfriends, or lovers don't want their women to work.  They will either sweet-talk the women into avoiding employment, change employment or quit a job especially if there are too many of the opposite sex, pout about their wives' choice, give their women the silen

An abusive man or woman who hates any and everyone should be like an annoying fly, you should want to avoid it or rid yourself of the noise.  But so many men and women stick it out with their name-calling partners, prejudice lovers, and hateful spouses. When you hear a person talking meanly about others, it should be a red flag to get away from him or her early on.  However, what happens is many dating singles will ignore the hate.  The attractive partner and all that comes with him or her becomes more important than how he or she might potentially treat you in the future. It is safe to say that the day a man or woman calls you out of your name or argues about hating a certain ethnicity, gender, etc., is the day that you have to draw a line in the sand.  If you don't, then it is only a matter of time that you will be the victim laboring to love an abusive mate. Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7

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Many of us have witnessed how certain women in our families behaved around their partners.  These men were the kings of their castles, so to speak.  Meanwhile, the women acted like servants or slaves to their mates.  The controlling men made the important decisions and told their women what to say and do to them and around others.  Any woman who violated "the rules" dealt with emotional and possible physical abuse.  A threatening stare, a raised tone of voice, or an item slammed by her husband/boyfriend and the nervous woman was quickly put in check whether in front of her family or elsewhere. This is why many of us have had difficult relationships with the opposite sex over the years--I'm a witness, because we refused to be treated like those women who went before us.  However, some of us also fell into the same trap by being tricked into being with controlling men.  They were clever in how they went about courting us until we got to know them and the newness wore off

He disrespected her by having sex with yet another woman.  To add insult to injury, when he was found out, her partner gave her a verbal tongue lashing.  Once he broke her down to tears, between her sobs, she tried to tell the cheater how she felt.  He grew weary of her yelling and that is when he hit her followed by choking.  He threatened to kill her if she kept mentioning the cheating.  Less than a week later, she said she still loved him.  What!? This is the life of an abused girlfriend, mistress or wife.  After news cameras are shut off, police are gone and her support system has left her alone in her hospital bed, life goes on and for many of these women, they are back to playing the role of victim.  The abused will tell you that, "He is sorry" that "You don't understand, he loves me!"  Those on the outside looking in will never understand unless they "have been there and done that."  How can someone still love a person who wanted him or her

Another week has gone by and you made it, still alive and breathing, but for how long?  Some of you have been under intense emotional and physical stress and see no light at the end of the tunnel.  But there is hope, you can change your mindset way before your feet do any walking.  How might you do that?  Well, for starters stop making excuses for the controlling man's behavior. I know you love this person and really want things to be different.  But mean and impatient people, like your partner, will prove over and over again that they have no intention of changing.  They will place blame, lie, cover-up actions, and pretend as if nothing is wrong in public.  You can take control of the relationship gradually by empowering yourself.  What is it that you want to do with your life? Thinking of the pros and cons in a mean boyfriend and spouse will only trick your mind into thinking you are with someone who is a good person.  You know different.  Sure, there are those "good&qu