Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Survey outcomes give valuable information regarding the reasons and infidelity deeds of men. Surprisingly, the springiness that men appear to have towards their ego, even tough not meaning to cheat, they consider discrepancy as something that must be at all times avoided. History reveals us that mankind has since long ago tolerated a certain level of polygamy and besides religion norms, financial status is the only impediment. Polygamy practices in ancient times The statement sustaining that men are rational and capable of reflection towards their actions is disputable, but the more advanced mankind is, the more elaborate from sexual characteristics point of view is going to be. By observing males behavior within species, it has been proved that they consider procreation as a priority, after first place being occupied by food supply. Therefore, looking from a development perspective, the charge brought to men as moral fibre lack is not fully based, because anthropological studi...

The estimated risk for rape survivors developing post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is 49%. The risk for those beaten or experiencing physical assault is 31.9%, whilst the risk for others who experienced sexual assault is 23.7%. Given these figures, it is no wonder women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, as they are statistically significantly more likely to experience sexual assault. Post traumatic stress disorder is characterized by intense fear, a sense of helplessness, or horror. It can affect all areas of a person's life, their emotions, mental wellbeing, and physical health. And symptoms are generally worse in situations, like rape and abuse, where the trauma was deliberately initiated against those involved. A person with post traumatic stress disorder may re-live the traumatic events, having flashbacks or other reminders and images that intrude on their waking hours, or in dreams and nightmares. These reminders may also trigger physical symptoms, such as ...

Have you ever been told by someone that you love or by someone of higher authority that words don’t hurt? Have you been told that as long as you are not being hit, that it is ok to be abused ? Well think again because "ABUSE" is abuse whether it is done physical, emotional or both and it affects women’s health just the same because both can leave lifetime scars that will and can hurt you in both your personal and professional life. The old myth has always been, if you are being physically abused to get out while those who were being emotionally abused were seemed to be told nothing! Is it a fact that words don’t hurt? If that holds true, then does it only become physical abuse when a bruised body part becomes obvious to others? Well, what about an emotionally abused person? Does it only become emotional abuse when you have started to believe what you’re told? Really there is no difference in how emotional and physical abuse affects the mind, body and spirit. Take t...

Have you or do you know someone who has been abused or been involved in an abusive relationship ? What is your definition of abuse? All of us know that physical violence is abuse. We also know there is emotional and mental abuse too, but do we know what it really is? What counts as abuse? I, myself have experienced physical, emotional, and mental abuse to different degrees. My family members and friends have suffered abuse from spouses and significant others, and in some cases even family members. If you slap someone, that is abuse, and we know that. If you tell someone to shut up, is that abuse? Is it the tone of your voice or the conviction in which you say it, do those things make it abuse? Name calling is definitely a form of abuse. Abuse breaks a person down bit by bit. Sometimes you don't make it back. Your self -esteem is gone, you become out of control yourselves, sometimes the victim becomes the abuser. Abuse will affect the way you look at yourselves and oth...

Could it Be That These Health Issues Contributed to Women Being Abusive Toward Men? "What did he do to cause her to hit him? He probably deserved it." "As big as he is and he is accusing her of being abusive?" "Why would he call the police on her?" This is just a sample of the many quotes that have been said about men who have been in violent relationships with their abusive wives and girlfriends. Women aren't the only victims when it comes to domestic violence, men have their share of stories too. "It takes two to tango," so the saying goes. And what the public rarely hears is his side of the story and if he chooses to share it, would we believe him anyway? Picture this, an irritable, emotional, hungry, wife with an emotional disorder that occurs two weeks out of every month. She doesn't seem to think her problem is serious. She barks out orders to her husband and children like a drill sergeant. She makes false accusations abo...

Let's face it. Our government sent thousands of men and women into battle. They didn't know what they were getting into when they arrived in Iraq. Of course we sympathize with them, and we pray night after night they come home safe. And when they do, everything is different. He or she has changed. They are not the same person you remember. Is it their fault? Why place blame, because we can certainly point fingers. But the bottom line here is that you will be affected one way or another upon their return, and a lot of times, it isn't positively. Short tempers. Anger. Resentment. Grieving for lost comrades. Why did the government send me there? Why is my life ruined? I can't cope with life now. My spouse or partner doesn't understand. Why did I get injured? I can't work now. My partner wants love and affection. I can't give it anymore. All I see is bloodshed. All I see is pain and anguish. No one understands. My life will never be the same. I wish I wou...

People define cheating differently. Some people define it as an emotional act as well as a physical act and others just define it as a physical act. That topic alone can cause some issues in a relationship if both parties define cheating differently. So, in order to eliminate obstacles that may later come into play it's always best to make certain you know how the other person in the relationship defines something like that. Although it's not pertinent that couples are exactly alike, there are obviously some important areas in a relationship which help uplift it rather than hinder it. And this type of topic can be one of those things. Truthfully, I believe that it's difficult to keep the romance alive and a relationship on a positive note if you're unable to work in unity with your spouse. Especially if one of you defines cheating in one way and the other defines cheating in another way. Usually, physical cheating is what we all refer to as cheating. It's ...

Her abusive boyfriend from the past cheated, lied, robbed, raped, abused, and misused her. When you first laid eyes on this gorgeous woman, the last thing you thought was you would be inheriting her wounds from yesteryear. Yet, you did and now you feel at times stuck with both his and her mess. You aren't ready to break up with this woman you love, but you can't see a future with her either. So what do you do about this past baggage that tends to show up on days that you think everything is perfectly okay? The following tips should help you get some peace of mind, reach a decision about the relationship, and help you help her to heal. There is a big difference between a woman who calls herself a victim of domestic violence and one who calls herself a survivor. The survivor most likely has evolved from her experience and shows no signs of having ever been a victim. She has received the support she needed to move on and has taken the necessary changes to live her life to the f...

You have been called names, threatened, lied to, physically beaten , kept captive in a room, told to keep quiet and yelled at to perform senseless acts all in the name of love by the one who calls himself your lover, boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. People have judged you, advised you, cut you off, scolded you, and so much more just to communicate one thing and that is to leave him. The problem you are having with yourself and everyone around you, your mind and heart are not ready to leave at least not yet. So the following statements will challenge you to look inside yourself and evaluate your world around you and hopefully you will be motivated to do what is right for you and/or your family before it's too late. It's time to take out a piece of paper, pen the thoughts that come to your mind as you read. My daddy doesn't know me. Whether it was your dad or any man around you that you wanted to be close to as a young girl, but he just never wanted to allow you to ge...

What is your definition of love ? How do you determine whether a person loves you or not? Many people define love based on what they have witnessed their parents and other relatives say and do when it comes to love. Others may not have found what exactly love is amongst the people they know; therefore, they look toward books, movies, and music. Once they have found a definition of love they can agree with, they will show love in the way they feel most comfortable. Do you know what your mate's definition of love is and does it align with yours? The following information will help you assess your own definition of love, understand his meaning of love, and whether or not it is even worth staying in a relationship. What is your personal definition of love? In order to determine what is your personal definition of love, you will have to process what it is not. We all know that love is not a hot moment in bed, a thoughtful card, financial help, physical attributes and other action...

You walked in late one night from hanging out with your friends, may be it was work, or visiting with relatives, "Whatever you were doing, you are late!" your abusive partner shouts. You ask him what is he so angry about. You tell him that you are a grown woman and you can do whatever you want and then it happens. He hits you hard in the face. laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com One evening you are over your boyfriend's apartment watching television, suddenly his phone rings, you answer and there on the other end of the receiver a friendly, female's voice asks you, "Who are you?" You tell her, she hangs abruptly. Moments later you hear the front door open, it's him. He starts off with a simple greeting, proceeds to the bedroom, changes out of his work clothes into something more comfortable, and then seats himself into his favorite recliner in the living room to watch the game. You decide that you need to talk to him about the woman who just...

Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate A 21-year-old woman’s diary to stay or go By Nicholl McGuire Education, popularity, and beauty couldn’t keep a college student from choosing a man who had a terrible secret. In this poetic story, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Nicholl McGuire tells of her struggle to stay or leave her abuser. Domestic violence reared its ugly head when Nicholl, a young college student, met a man ten years older back in 1996. In her first book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate , Nicholl struggles with whether she should stay or leave her abuser in a series of poems that chronicle her hellish nine-month experience. Her roller coaster ride of emotions in the book provide valuable insight on the struggles abused women face when making a decision to help or escape their abusers. “This book isn’t for the woman who has already left the relationship,” Nicholl says. “Instead, it’s for the woman who is contemplating on leaving the relationship and the woman w...