Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

One of the most puzzling aspects of domestic violence is why victims stay with their abusers. There are many factors that can contribute to this decision, including emotional attachment , financial dependency , and fear of retaliation . Unfortunately, domestic violence often escalates over time, making it even more difficult for victims to leave. In some cases, victims may have been raised in a household where domestic violence was accepted as a normal part of life. As a result, they may not realize that there are other options available to them. In other cases, victims may be afraid that leaving the relationship will result in further violence. They may also believe that they can change their abuser's behavior if they just try hard enough.  Ask yourself the following questions: Have you (or your loved one) been emotionally or physically abused in the past?  How did you or others respond to the abuse?  Are you fearful of what might happen if you (or they leave)? Do you reason that

They didn't want us to remind them of what we saw growing up.  They pretended as if things hadn't happened.  They changed the subject, acted busy, or walked away.  Some of them stopped talking to us and got other relatives to distance themselves from us.  The truth hurt and it still hurts for many!  We were there when their parents and grandparents did their dirt or we heard about it.  We were told to keep our mouths shut, to pretend as if nothing happened, and to "mind your business!" When I grew older, and I got opportunities to talk with family members and friends, who had witnessed and/or experienced their share of abuses, they didn't hesitate to come clean after certain people had passed away.  They knew they had been gaslighted and threatened into submission.  They reasoned it was best that people didn't know about their loved ones being hurt by favorite relatives.  However, I wasn't one for letting it all just wash away especially when some people w

You heard people journal in order to bring about peace of mind, healing, coordinate their vision, re-charge, find a way to cope in the meantime, and more!  Are you journaling?  If not, you may want to start, so many people feel uplifted, focused and ready to begin their lives anew when they journal!   Shepherd's Door, a resource center for victims of domestic violence, founder, Linda Offray says, "I have been journaling for 20 years."  She goes on, "I started journaling when I completed ministry school and began to work in ministry.  The Spirit of God begin to show me so much through visions and dreams.  So I began to write down what the spirit spoke to me.  It didn't matter what time of the day, I would just grab something and start writing.  I wanted to keep a record of what God was showing me as well as speaking to me."  She adds that she always knew what she was receiving was meaningful.  "So when my life manifested good or bad, I would go back to m