Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

When someone approaches you with a story that sounds a lot like he or she is being abused, do consider the following. 1.  No talking about the situation when victims have either shut down, stopped talking, or don't feel ready to share everything. 2.  Be understanding, don't pressure a victim to leave especially when you don't know the details.  Sometimes abusers will pretend like they are victims to get attention or cover up their misdeeds by placing blame on a partner. 3.  Avoid blaming, ridiculing or acting in other negative ways, because you don't like or agree with what the person is telling you. 4.  Search for resources in the victim's area and share them.  Remind him or her it is against the law to be abused and for a child or animal to be abused as well.  Oftentimes abusers are not only hurting their partners, but others as well. 5.  Offer to assist the individual with expenses and other needs if you know you are able to, don't give him or her false

He is not God. You are not Jesus. Your children, disciples. Following after whatever example you are providing. What you do with your life relevant, how you choose to live it...important. Abuser, irrelevant. Advisers don't want to hear about what he thinks, what she will do... what they want to know is, what will you do? Band-aids don't heal wounds. Compliments don't erase pain. Expensive gifts don't solve problems. Trips around the world don't make a partner love. Pain and more pain is all the victim ever gets. Pain and more pain is all the abuser gives. Nicholl McGuire

They are bullies, attention-seekers, angry, loud-mouth, sneaky, or downright evil, children .  They look harmless but upon closer inspection, you see the callousness in them.  They learned from the best, abusive guardians.  Emotionally and physically violent mothers and/or fathers cursing, fighting, slamming things, and acting out their aggression in other ways.  Mad at everyone in the household, a father storms off after leaving his partner on the floor crying and yelling.  Mom retaliates one day, loses it, and makes dad bleed.  The children see, they may tell others, or remain quiet until they are old enough to fight anyone who stands in their way. Slap a child one too many times and eventually she doesn't cry anymore.  Punch a son in his chest as an attempt to toughen him up over and over again, and one day he will pay the parent or someone else back for all his abuse.  The pain received from an abusive relative, partner or friend doesn't go away overnight.  That resi