Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

You may have been one of the few who came to this site in shock, it happened!  You were hit for the first time by someone you trusted, a person who you thought loved you so much.  "How could he/she do that?" you think.  Right now you might hurt so bad over the incident--can't eat or sleep well.  You don't feel like you can tell anyone.  At this point in the relationship, it really doesn't matter what caused the fight, the point is your partner hit you, now what?  Does this mean that the relationship is over?  Do you have to go to the police?  Will you need to take photos of your bruise?  What do you think? Every situation is different and every reaction doesn't apply to all situations.  However, the best advice is never stay in any relationship when one has made up in his or her mind to hit your body because he or she was so angry.   No excuses!  "So you hit me because I upset you?  You leave a mark on my body, because you can't control yourself!?

Some women and men in challenging relationships have made promises in the past to a spouse/lover, who they didn't know at the time was mentally disturbed.  Therefore, they feel obligated to fulfill promises, rather than break them despite putting their safety at risk on a daily basis.  From the dedicated man who says he will take care of his verbally abusive wife (come hell or high water) to the loyal woman who believes that if she does everything that she said she was going to do for a husband years ago, these people believe that everything will be alright.  But it only gets better for a moment before the angry wife is yelling and cursing all over again and the physically abusive man is threatening to kill everyone in the house.  What is really keeping the Used and Abused at the home besides the obvious?  Those damn promises!  They are damning because they don't benefit anyone but the person who is waiting for his victim to make good on them. In good faith, victims want to

  The woman in this video isn't saying or doing anything abusive.  However, the video is being posted for those who have witnessed someone in a similar state of mind.  When you challenge someone who is experiencing mania, you run the risk of having a very heated argument with he or she that just might lead to violence.  Saying things like, "Shut up, you talk too d*mn much!  You are a liar you know you aren't telling the truth!  You aren't that smart, your dumb!" will only further infuriate the mania in the individual. Here's another example... When you notice such behavior, best advice, remain calm and find something else to do rather than have a conversation with he or she.  If the manic person follows you around insisting to talk to you, remove yourself out of his or her presence and go somewhere in a public view.  This way there will be other witnesses to the manic person's behavior.  Never turn your back on them when they are in a rage.