Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Why You Should Avoid Marriage Some people in this world are simply in love with themselves to the point that they are almost obsessed with their beauty, intelligence, material wealth, and the praise they receive from others. Psychologists have a word for people who are overly conceited, self-absorbed, and believe they are better than others. They describe their attitudes and behaviors as narcissistic. We all possess some of the character traits of a narcissist from time-to-time, but that doesn’t mean we are one. There are those people who have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and expect excessive admiration for what they feel are their exceptional talents, achievements, and other things they do for themselves and others. They are usually very handsome, beautiful people in the public, but at home, behind closed doors, they are far from it. If they feel they are being underappreciated, you will see the haughty, arrogant, jealous side come out. They expect those

Tips on Handling the Silent Treatment We have all heard about physical abuse where one hurts another by choking, slapping, hitting, and shoving. We also have heard about emotional abuse where one belittles another through name calling, withdrawing from intimacy, forgetting important dates, lying, cheating, etc. Well nonverbal abuse falls under the category of Psychological or Emotional Abuse as well. This type of abuse is defined as anguish, pain and distress through the use of nonverbal acts. For the purpose of this article we will focus only on the nonverbal acts the abuser uses in a relationship. There is no pushing, shoving, belittling, or name-calling. Instead, the abuser uses silence to control, manipulate, frustrate, anger, and confuse. What is interesting about the one who is using the silent treatment, he or she isn’t always aware that they are doing it which makes it even more challenging to draw his or her attention to the problem.   So how do you feel about the

When I first heard the song by Usher, OMG, I admit I really liked the music. It was definitely a great song to get you moving. But when I listened to the lyrical content, I began to get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, "Baby let me love you down There's so many ways to love ya Baby I can break ya down There's so many ways to love ya Got me like oh my god, I'm so in love. I found you finally, you make me want to say. Oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh my gosh." Long after I first heard this song, I still heard the lyrics while going about my day. The character in the song was interested in getting a woman to drop her defenses so that she would sleep with him. The song isn't about "loving" her, but having sex with her in "so many ways" that she would be exclaiming, "Oh my God!" in the bedroom. Once the man causes the woman to orgasm, his game is finished. The unsuspecting woman would not o

An abusive man can't resist stalking, talking or attempting to get near the victim long after the abusive experience. It seems that there is a tugging in his heart to want to make things right with just one more apology. Unfortunately, too many women allow themselves to be lulled in his arms only to be punished some more for walking away in the first place. Don't let it happen to you! You may have said or heard women say, "If he hit me once, that is all it takes--I am outta there!" But the truth is that doesn't always happen. Whether it was a light push, a pull or something else he has done to the woman, she most likely reasons, "Well he was upset and I did push him to his limit a bit." How many times will she rationalize his actions and take the blame? Unsuspecting women are drawn into abusive relationships, because their abusers are good actors. They know just what to say to keep her coming back for more whether more means in the bedroom, in his

You may be in a relationship with someone who just takes work to make happy. He or she acts as if they love you, but do they really? Aside from what we know is just not characteristic of a good relationship (such as hitting, choking, kicking, etc.,) why do we work so hard to make people love us when they obviously don't? You may have tried to uplift his or her spirits with a story or two, and he or she just looked the other way and continued to busy his or her self. You may have tried to buy him or her a gift hoping to put a smile on this ungrateful person's face. No matter what you do in his or her eyes, you are not good enough. This kind of behavior (without the physical beatings) can be emotionally draining. When will good enough, be good enough? How many times must you initiate a conversation, love-making, a place to go, or suggest an idea to make your partner's life better? Are there no other people on the planet that will appreciate you? Of course, there are,