Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

She told me for the umpteenth time about this man she once loved coming over to her home, plopping down in front of the television, eating, and then sleeping in her bed. I guess it would have been okay if they had plans on getting married, but this wasn't the case. He got married while seeing her, weeks after the honeymoon he came back over to have sex. After his visits, he would send her text messages, and acted as if nothing was wrong. He had told her, "Listen I love my child's mother and I want to be with her, but we could still be friends." At first she was shocked, maybe she was still in shock because she did keep letting him in her bed. Now the wife (after almost two years of on again off again sex) is pregnant and he keeps coming in and out of the ex-girlfriend's life, because she allows him! That's right, she allows such abuse to go on. So what he is still sleeping with her and so what the wife is pregnant, but what is wrong so wrong abo...

You may have heard a story about domestic violence, been a victim yourself or just don't understand why women stay, whatever your reason for being interested in Domestic Violence Awareness, you are at least making an attempt to educate yourself and possibly help someone else and that's all anyone who once was a victim and those who are now deceased would want, but for those people who want to do more, the following are tips to help you get started. First, conduct research about domestic violence. You should be able to answer some of the why, how, when, what, and who questions related to the subject. Also, read about others' plights. Even though many of the stories have similar patterns, there is always something new in each that may stimulate thoughts of " I never knew that." Second, be sure that you are sincerely empathetic and not judgmental about those who have been in violent relationships. You will know if you have resolved your own issues about women who sta...

What is codependency? I've known numerous men who have been in relationships with clingy, needy, overly-emotional, jealous, and controlling women. These men are frustrated with what they perceive as their girlfriend's flaws. They often don't realize that their own behavior is contributing to the unhealthy relationship and allowing it to persist. These men are often stuck in codependent relationships. The term "codependent" is commonly used to refer to individuals who are overly reliant on their partners, using them as a crutch and not wanting to leave their side. However, it can apply to any unhealthy emotional dependency. When a man stays in a relationships with a clingy, jealous, critical partner, he feels dependent on her approval. Any man with a high level of self-esteem and healthy attitude towards relationships would not tolerate such a relationship. He'd either take action to stop the pattern, or simply leave. Men who get stuck in a codependent relation...

While it is a sick and sad thing to think about, animal abuse happens every day. There are many reasons why some people commit such horrible crimes. In many cases however, it has been proven time and time again that there is a link between animal abuse and domestic abuse. Those who commit acts of violence against lovers, children, and animals tend to do so because they feel empowered. They feel as though they can teach someone a lesson because the person or animal they are beating on is weaker than they are. This must stop. But when will it? Pets are a big part of homes that have children. In fact, 74.8 percent of the homes that have children, ages six and up, in them will have at least one pet. Women are the primary caregivers in three fourths of these homes. Reports collected from interviews with women in United States and Canadian domestic violence shelters show that about 70 percent have been witness to violence towards the animals in the home, from the abuser who attacked them. Wo...

Whether you give your time, street or email address, you are giving something away usually to get something. I am asking you to support my book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. In abusive relationships, women and men are giving something away too -- their lives! Some are doing it fully aware of the consequences and others are too blind to see what is happening before them. Since my last posting to this site a young woman who was suppose to get my book died. She was hit by a car trying to run away from her abuser and died. Would my book have touched her heart? I don't know, but if my book can touch someone you know who is in a similar situation then why not get it for them before it's too late? I was a victim of dating/domestic violence in 1996 and then I became a survivor the following year! However, the years following would require spiritual counseling, prayer, and family. Some of you reading this are already aware of my book, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate. O...

Far too often, domestic abuse survivors go from the frying pan to the fire on their way out of an abusive relationship. And they wonder how this can happen. While it doesn’t always happen, it’s more common than most people realize. I lived systemic abuse; I write about it, I know it from the core of my being. But, I never understood it so thoroughly until I was asked to explain it to someone whose life was altered dramatically by it. What is “systemic abuse?” The word “systemic” is defined as “relating to or referring to the whole organism.” I liken systemic abuse to any systemic disease. It erodes the very elements that sustain the organism. Systemic abuse, as I see it, is the manifestation of abuse by that deemed to protect the abused. The net result: the perpetuation of domestic violence by the very systems that purport to stop it. Survivors of domestic abuse far too often meet systemic abuse face-to-face in their efforts to seek safety from an abusive partner. She can be the defend...

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