When There is No One Left to Blame

They have all gone.  The parents stopped calling or coming around.  No conversation about them.  The children (or at least most of them) are not at home even pets have gone off into their corners.  There is no job stress, no significant money woes (just the usual) and neighbors, friends and others aren't involved much with you.  No one is around to blame, to talk about, to insult, or to distract you from the troubled one seated in the same room or sleeping beside you.  Now what?

Oftentimes victims in bad relationships run away from their problems.  They resort to blaming others for all their issues.  From something not going right at an event to the attitude a partner gives them behind closed doors.  However, when there isn't anyone or anything to blame, then what?
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If you are watching this sort of situation unfold with yourself or someone you know, you can see what and who is really the cause behind all the blaming.  Instead, we like to sugarcoat things and hope for the best.  We make excuses for bad connections whether on or offline.  We say things like, "It isn't so bad...at least I don't have as many problems as So and So..."  But you still have problems.  Brag all you want about how you don't have this challenge and that one but look in the mirror sometimes. 

Who is prematurely aging?  Who is staying financially broke?  Who's heart broken?  Who needs someone to rescue he or she from one bad decision after another?

When we face the fact that we are the one with issues, we can begin to walk toward some healing.  The time will never be right to emotionally withdraw from someone.  A bit of sex and a good time reveling in some entertainment and great food with a difficult person is nothing more than yet another distraction to keep you from leaving a miserable relationship.

People around you are distancing themselves because they know sooner or later the volcano will erupt (yet again) and they don't want to be a part of anymore destruction.  Wake up!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books including: Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men and She's Crazy.  Scroll this site and click on links.

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