The Aging Abuser - No Change, Just Tired
Just because he doesn't curse and act threatening like he did when he was younger, doesn't mean he has changed. Just because she doesn't holler and throw things like she did about 20 plus years back, doesn't mean she is sweet now. The aging emotionally and physically abusive man or woman is simply tired of fighting. They don't have the energy like they once did to kick, shove, punch, or chase their victims around the house. You know they haven't changed when...
1) They still call you or someone else hurtful names while blaming and shaming.
2) They threaten to hurt you even though they haven't bothered to get up out the chair.
3) They still use power and control tactics to get their way--they might use their bodily aches and pains to win sympathy.
4) They still lie or cover up their misdeeds especially past ones.
5) They still don't apologize.
6) They still avoid getting any help for their personality disorders or mental disorders.
7) They still self-medicate with alcohol and/or drugs.
Some victims have waited 20 plus years or more to see their mean-spirited spouses and relatives change mentally, physically, spiritually for the better, but to no avail! The refusal to admit one's brokenness will not bring about healing for the abuser or victim. Using words like: "love," "commitment," "truth," "honor", "protect," and more are just words when there is no action behind them.
The aging abuser has become a master at throwing words around to get his or her way and the host of his or her own pity party. The manipulator has watched others use their frailties to get the gullible to do for them. They have listened intently to those, who have a faith, and have learned how to imitate them so as to appear like they too are kind, friendly, and humble. Yet, the aging abuser is nothing like a sweet grandmother or kind grandfather; rather, underneath those lines, wrinkles, age marks, and weak muscles is still very much a devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy the unsuspecting.
Get a way while you still can.
Nicholl McGuire
1) They still call you or someone else hurtful names while blaming and shaming.
2) They threaten to hurt you even though they haven't bothered to get up out the chair.
3) They still use power and control tactics to get their way--they might use their bodily aches and pains to win sympathy.
4) They still lie or cover up their misdeeds especially past ones.
5) They still don't apologize.
6) They still avoid getting any help for their personality disorders or mental disorders.
7) They still self-medicate with alcohol and/or drugs.
Some victims have waited 20 plus years or more to see their mean-spirited spouses and relatives change mentally, physically, spiritually for the better, but to no avail! The refusal to admit one's brokenness will not bring about healing for the abuser or victim. Using words like: "love," "commitment," "truth," "honor", "protect," and more are just words when there is no action behind them.
The aging abuser has become a master at throwing words around to get his or her way and the host of his or her own pity party. The manipulator has watched others use their frailties to get the gullible to do for them. They have listened intently to those, who have a faith, and have learned how to imitate them so as to appear like they too are kind, friendly, and humble. Yet, the aging abuser is nothing like a sweet grandmother or kind grandfather; rather, underneath those lines, wrinkles, age marks, and weak muscles is still very much a devil who seeks to kill, steal, and destroy the unsuspecting.
Get a way while you still can.
Nicholl McGuire
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