Should You Stay?

Sometimes people reach out to others wanting to know, "Should I just leave?"  Of course you should if someone is abusing you or you simply feel like you can't go on with that person.  But we advisers aren't in the hurting person's shoes.  The one who can best answer that question is the one who has to live in that household each and everyday with that toxic guy or gal.  If you are offended when someone "tells it like it is" then you most likely aren't ready to leave.  Some victims simply can't handle the fact that they made a lousy choice when they married, had sex, or had a baby with a partner.  So as long as you are defending, denying, and blaming, you won't leave--you are there to stay. 

Sometimes the abused isn't who or what you think.

For years, I have posted my personal experiences and opinion about abusive relationships and for years people have come to this site and blindly scrolled through the entries pretending as if my body of work doesn't speak to them.  Yet it does.  It is prophecy for what is ahead for those who haven't been pushed, shoved, spat on, or choked yet, but they will be.  The naïve will be cheated on and abused while others will remain with their cheating spouses and abuse. 

Abusive men and women have a sickness, a dark side.  Behind their grins and the occasional nice things they do for others is evil--children of darkness.  It's as if something takes over their minds and their bodies and they just do whatever they feel like doing.  If they want to yell, curse, cheat, lie, steal, have sex with someone else, etc. they will without a second thought.  When they come back to their senses, they might apologize, but they might not.  And what good is an apology when your hurt or your body is all black and blue? 

So should you stay?  Well that is up to you.  Rather ask yourself this question, "Do I love myself enough to leave?"

Nicholl McGuire