Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Say something to the public charmer that sounds critical and then it won't be long before his evil twin the private abuser shows up. The charmer's smile fades away as quick as it came; in its place now reveals an evil scowl. Say too much and things just might get physical. He is more cautious around males then females who know him well, because he doesn't want to have to go toe to toe with another man if he can help it. Mr. Abuser knows better to exercise a bit of self-control when he knows he could lose everything messing with the wrong person. Dr. Phil says, "There are no victims, only volunteers." Don't go along to get along. Peace at any price is no peace at all. On Dating or Marrying a Loser Do women recognize the kind of men they are with and do they listen closely to what their partners are saying and not saying especially during those first meetings? The evidence is there. From the way a man stands to the take charge attitude he has and...

As long as the woman who doesn't want her abusive man to get away remains in a relationship with him, she will be abused. As long as the man who thinks he can't attract anyone but mean-spirited women continues to settle, he will be used. It's a belief, whether accurate or not, that keeps the abused with the abusive.  You can make excuses all you want, but the truth is your personal thoughts about someone is what keeps you bound to them.  We know the truth about our partners and we all have reasons for why we stay and why we leave and never return.  When the thought came to me that I could never be happy with my abuser, I let him go.  When I came to the realization that an ex was no longer going to be faithful to me, I made arrangements to leave.  When I watched my relatives behave badly with one another and then noticed how they acted toward me and didn't like what I was seeing, I made arrangements not to be around them anymore. How long does it take for...