She Went Back

Thought she had everything figured out
went to church and gave a shout.

Moved on with life and felt real good
until something inside said, "I wish we would..."

Went against all sound advice,
went back to her old vice.

Couldn't face the fact she failed,
a new life she had derailed.

Needed things to go right,
wasn't ready to see the light.

"If the relationship was going to make it," she reasoned,
"I had best be ready and seasoned."

So she decorated her lost self,
made gifts like Santa's little elf.

For him, she cooked, cleaned, and gleamed,
while things didn't appear like what they seemed.

He was happy as long as she didn't change,
so she stayed in his view, his controlling range.

But one day she had her own thought,
she only did as she was taught.

Had been to a higher institution of learning,
but at times she wasn't all that discerning.

Her man wasn't supportive of who she was,
and all those things that she does.

Going back was a bad move,
created more wounds to soothe.

Things didn't get better,
so she wrote herself a letter.

Realized that she was bought,
realized why she was sought.

A great God had other things in store,
she didn't need to live that life once more.

So God gave her a clear plan
and one day she got away, she ran!
No longer a need for that disturbed man.

Nicholl McGuire