Wednesday

6 Signs You Are Out Of Your Mind in a Relationship

There comes a point when you have been in an abusive relationship far too long and it doesn't matter what others think, you are going to argue, defend, lie, and even physically assault someone about your man/woman.  When you find yourself acting out of rage when someone is only trying to help, you are out of your mind!  For some reading this, someone may have even said, "You are crazy...what do you see in him?  Why do you put up with her, well you must be out of your mind, because I could never..." 

A person in an abusive relationship has to one day look at that one in the mirror and come to the realization that he or she is in fact out of his or her mind to keep permitting someone to physically or verbally abuse, cheat, lie, steal, connive and do other evil things against he or she and his or her family.

So how do you know, you are out of your mind in what you might consider a normal relationship?

1.  You argue more than you talk to one another and it is often about things that really should be no argument.  For instance, like caring for a child, cleaning up a mess he/she created, respecting one's space, or not cheating.  If one fails to care for a child, anyone knows what kind of problems that would bring.  If you don't keep a house clean, there are consequences too.  If someone keeps cheating on another, before long law enforcement might be involved.  So why would these topics be an issue?  Why do you have to keep arguing why something is right and something is wrong when there is enough evidence to show otherwise?  Someone is sick in the mind.

2.  You support a partner on things that you know go against the law, morals, and hurt others including yourself.  Anything you do for someone that is going to possibly cost you your job or worse your life in time, is not worth it.  But if you find yourself reasoning away why something is right and ignoring all wisdom, consider yourself losing it.

3.  You lie to people you claim you love.  In the past you might have said, "I would never lie to you."  Not only is something wrong in your relationship, but many will deem you as untrustworthy.

4.  You fight with best friends, relatives, and others over things you know are wrong regarding your mate.
Is defending someone who often makes you sad, angry or confused really worth losing your support system who could one day be responsible for helping you escape your miserable relationship?  Better make friends fast, apologize, and seek those who sincerely love and care for you before they all turn their backs on you.

5.  You ignore or isolate yourself from others when you secretly want to have a healthy relationship with certain individuals.  Your partner often finds fault with everyone that you know and you allow his or her negativity to permeate your ears.  Consider this, that one you love so much and bend over backwards for isn't promised to live long.  Then what will you do?  Leaning on those you love might be too late.

6.  You cry often and nurse your wounds while reasoning, "I shouldn't have...I could have...why did I...?"  Some men and women tip toe around a tempermental spouse while saying, "I just want him to feel comfortable, I mean I could do some things better."  However, these same individuals wouldn't go out of their way to help others, rather they would  walk boldly around everyone else.  When the angry partner hits, slaps, punches, pushes, name-calls, chokes, kicks, or does something else, the victim will most likely justify the mate's foolishness inside his or her head while taking her issues out on fellow workers, church members, relatives, and others.  Don't blame yourself or those divinely appointed to help you, get some help!  Taking your anger out on others will not solve your issues and being argumentative with a partner or others won't help your situation either.

Let's face your  reality for a moment, you fallen in love with someone who has a mental illness of sorts.  It happens to many people who just want to be loved.  Whether your partner has some type of mood disorder, multiple personalities, or physically ill (yet the illnesss is starting to affect his or her mind) this person is troubled and you aren't Jesus!  Even the Divine One called us to be free!

Until we all come to grips that people aren't lost pets and we can't take them into our lives and comfort them without paying a heavy price, there will always be someone who reasons that it's okay to stay in an abusive relationship whether he or she is a member of the church of God or Satan or neither.  Start the journey today toward your freedom!  Take baby steps, gradually wean yourself away from an abusive partner.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love Myself and Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate which can be found on the right side of this web page.  Thanks for reading!

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God didn't put you with an abusive mate. Your flesh did.

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