Today is Your Day to Break Free from a Bad Relationship!

Your mind has told you to leave your abusive situation.  People around you keep reminding you of what you said about leaving your abusive partner, but when do you plan to do it?  The more you think about breaking it off, the more reasons you will find to stay with him or her.  "She's good with the kids...he makes good money...what will the children think?"  Concern yourself with those things after you leave.  This is the weekend for some of you that will set you on that path toward freedom!

You have been playing with the idea of leaving for years, but now is the time!  The extra money will be there for some of you, because you filed your income tax return early.  Don't let him, the children or relatives plan your money for you!  Take it and put it on a new place to stay.  Put some aside to finance your move.  Forget what you promised him or her you would do with the money, get away!  Somebody out there reading this, your life is at stake! 

The sooner you make up in your  mind that "This is it!" the better.  Now once you leave, what to expect?  An angry person who will try to find all sorts of ways to get you back.  You will have to remind yourself over and over again how his or her insults, hits, lies, and disrespect hurt you deeply.  Do you want to go back to that after you are called to be free?  Do you really want your children to see you at your worse all over again?  If you are concerned that he or she might do something bad to you or your family, then call the non-emergency line of your local police department.  Tell them what you are planning to and share with the listener your history and fears, then ask for assistance.  If the authorities in your town won't help, call those in the next town.  Refrain from listing excuses why you can't leave, once again if you do this, you will only make it harder and harder to break free!

Rally up support from your family and friends to help you move.  In this way, you will also have witnesses.  Be certain what date and time you will be leaving.  Don't back out when the time comes to move.  Be considerate when people are trying to help you, don't be like your abuser!

You have gone through a lot these past years.  You have listened to false promises and most likely, that is why you stuck around for so long.  Your inaction in this relationship has caused a reaction, sometimes negative, from well-meaning family and friends.  It's not your fault that things got so bad!  People who have years of experience taking advantage of others just know how to manipulate people very well.  They believe that the more they talk, the more others will do what they say.  Your abuser will do a lot of talking once you are gone!

Your former partner (get use to saying that) will try to play with your emotions promising once again to do better.  He or she will call you repeatedly on your cell phone, so get the number changed.  Also, alert security on your job and talk to your boss in case he or she tries to contact you there.  This person may also hold your mail hostage, so have it stopped.  The abuser may bad-mouth you to others.  He or she may also try to take his or her anger out on your belongings, so try to get everything out that you truly care about.  Don't leave no stone uncovered when you start getting yourself out of that residence you share with this person.  Enlist some help if need be.  Don't startle the children with a lot of tears and yelling.  Keep them occupied with toys, meals, and if there is a place they can go, while you pack, drop them off there.  You really need to get moving quickly and the last thing you need is a crying child bothering you every time you do something.

Freedom begins in your mind first!  You must envision yourself to be FREE of a bad relationship that is holding you captive.  Next, in order to truly experience real lasting freedom which includes: peace, wisdom, prosperity, love and much, much more, you must be willing to break free from your abuser physically--that means no sex, kissing or cuddling.  Lastly, once you are free from the idea of having a good relationship with this person, you will want to work long and hard on freeing your spirit emotionally and physically from him or her, so that you won't be abusive to others.

Nicholl McGuire
Author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate