Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

An abusive man can't resist stalking, talking or attempting to get near the victim long after the abusive experience. It seems that there is a tugging in his heart to want to make things right with just one more apology. Unfortunately, too many women allow themselves to be lulled in his arms only to be punished some more for walking away in the first place. Don't let it happen to you! You may have said or heard women say, "If he hit me once, that is all it takes--I am outta there!" But the truth is that doesn't always happen. Whether it was a light push, a pull or something else he has done to the woman, she most likely reasons, "Well he was upset and I did push him to his limit a bit." How many times will she rationalize his actions and take the blame? Unsuspecting women are drawn into abusive relationships, because their abusers are good actors. They know just what to say to keep her coming back for more whether more means in the bedroom, in his

You may be in a relationship with someone who just takes work to make happy. He or she acts as if they love you, but do they really? Aside from what we know is just not characteristic of a good relationship (such as hitting, choking, kicking, etc.,) why do we work so hard to make people love us when they obviously don't? You may have tried to uplift his or her spirits with a story or two, and he or she just looked the other way and continued to busy his or her self. You may have tried to buy him or her a gift hoping to put a smile on this ungrateful person's face. No matter what you do in his or her eyes, you are not good enough. This kind of behavior (without the physical beatings) can be emotionally draining. When will good enough, be good enough? How many times must you initiate a conversation, love-making, a place to go, or suggest an idea to make your partner's life better? Are there no other people on the planet that will appreciate you? Of course, there are,

Sometimes we tend to sound the alarm too soon when it comes to someone being abusive. Victims of past abuse know exactly what I am talking about. You start dating again and notice a few similarities with a current mate and a past one. So you jump to conclusions, "He is yelling at me...is he going to hit me like...?" Meanwhile, your defenses are up to either protect yourself from being attacked or you are ready to attack. Your poor partner doesn't know what to expect and assumes you are just crazy. Women who have been hurt physically by others will not hesitate to fight. Say the right trigger words and it's World War III in their homes. This is why you, as the survivor, must learn self-control. You must not assume that the man who is yelling at you will hit you. Otherwise, if you jump the gun, so to speak, you may be the one hauled off to jail. Here are some things you could do when an argument takes place: Refrain from a face-to-face confrontation by allowin