Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

They can do no wrong, the children of two dysfunctional parents, they are esteemed by their abusive fathers far more than their mothers who gave birth to them.  Why?  Simply put, most abusers revel in being able to control children--they are seen as extensions of themselves and tools to be used. The victim reaches a boiling point in the relationship that she can't take the emotional and physical control any longer, the abuser knows this, so dad is going for the children.  They will listen and obey or else.    Strange as it may seem, for many abusers it is okay for them to abuse both mothers and children, but someone else dare correct their children including their own mother, they better look out!  For example, if the mothers were to discipline their offspring such as: take their toys for misbehaving, yell about poor grades, or remove gaming devices for not doing chores once again, they are made out to be the bad guy.  Dad may not go all in about correcting his children, but will l

We have seen the movies, listened to talk show hosts, heard stories about relatives, friends and co-workers, and some of us were victims ourselves, domestic abuse hasn't gone anywhere.  No matter how much a civic group preaches about "no more abuse,"  there will always be someone somewhere who feels that it is his or her right to abuse over and over again! What we already know about domestic abuse is that it is a pattern and/or cycle of controlling behavior and this typically occurs with people who live together or have lived together.  The behaviors can be life threatening and lead to a premature death for victims.  Domestic abuse spreads throughout generations and it doesn't matter your background, ethnicity, faith, gender, sexuality, social class, etc.  However, what we need to know is that in times of crisis (such as what we are still in), the abuser is more agitated, angry, difficult to talk to, and if he or she has lost employment, the constant worry about mone