Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Holiday seasons are being utilized for all the wrong reasons when it comes to volatile relationships .  Buy one's abuser as much as he or she can and hopefully no abuse will occur, the girlfriend thinks.  Gather favorite relatives and friends around and maybe a spouse will be on his or her best behavior.  Reach out to travel planners to make an abusive husband's dreams come true.  Oh the victims, what great lengths they will go to appease an abusive partner. I recall the money, time and energy I spent in relationships with verbally and physically abusive loved ones.  I also remember wishing the pain would stop at least for awhile if only I could make them smile.  Instead of buying love, what I needed to do was address my pain.  The nagging feeling on the inside that a cheater was at it again.  The stomach pains from once again having an emotional outburst with a relative because I exposed one's lies.   The soreness in my bones from fighting an angry fiance.  It took mult

The tears came often for a long time with every offense, secret found out, lie told, and more.  The emotional abusive, physically violent, and miserable type of men that came and went out of my life (as well as those who I had pushed out), I had grown weary of the tears I cried for them.  Swollen eyes, darken circles, and that feeling of weakness that comes over you from crying so much had worn me down emotionally, physically and spiritually time and time again.  I even stopped going to church for a long time because I just didn't need to feel emotionally charged, crying yet again over all that went wrong was the last thing I wanted to do.  Yet, I eventually did go and kept going, and to my surprise, the guilt, grief, and other emotional burdens left. As I grew older, more secure in myself, and taking charge of my life, I realized that the tears weren't falling as much as they once did.  I could care less about "the acts" that my abusers had put on to appear lik