Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

There is an inner voice that all of us human beings have that warns us of things not to say or do. Many of us have this gentle voice inside, but we tend to suffocate it with what we want to do right now. If you are a believer, who has accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you most likely connect the voice to God, "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you" (John 14:26, NKJV). However, at times we grieve the Holy Spirit by not listening and obeying. "Do not grieve The Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption" (Ephesians 4:15-16, 30, NKJV). Let's say your instinct tells you during a first meeting with someone, "He's not the one. He cheats. He hurts women . He doesn't care about anyone, but himself." Yet, he distracts your inner voice with a kind deed, great conversation, and promise

"Debonair, easy-going, friendly, charismatic, a pillar of the community, nice, successful, handsome, gorgeous..." these are just some of the words victims use to describe their former abusive partners.  Even after one hears their stories of pain, manipulation, cheating, lies and more, one look at these abusive people, and the listener is captivated with them too.  Abusive, attractive, yet downright evil people have tricks up their sleeves like magicians performing magic acts, they pride themselves on knowing they have led you into believing something once again that is untrue. What sort of mind game did your manipulator play on you this time?  Was it a made up story about where he really went and who he saw while there?  Maybe it was a false promise that he or she had used for so long to keep your interest.  How about your favorite entertainment or a gift used to distract you to keep you from searching for evidence that you have been fooled yet again?  So a victim goes alon

The day that you make up in your mind that you will no longer put up with an emotionally or physically abusive partner , is the day that you are headed toward peace of mind. You are now ready to focus on your future without the controlling individual dominating every aspect of your mind.  It can be challenging to plan for the day you are officially free from an abuser , but you can do it!  Encourage yourself!  Take baby steps toward independence and don't allow anyone or anything to discourage you in your quest to break free from toxic programming. Survivors , who were once victims, recognized just how brainwashed they were in their past miserable relationships of power and control.  Abusers bully their victims.  They make promises sometimes keeping them, other times breaking them.  They dominate their lives with their demands.  The longer you stay, the more they keep you under their thumb. Expecting someone or a group to rescue you from the clutches of an abusive person just