Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

“Spiritual Abuse”, a catch phrase coined in recent years by Author’s David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen, is as old as organized religion itself. For most, the historical events which best portray spiritual abuse include the Holy Wars, The Inquisition, the persecution of many eastern Europeans at the hands of the Orthodox church. While many would consider spiritual abuse to be a seldom occurring event today, truthfully, it is very prevalent in the Christian Church, including mainline evangelical churches. Spiritual abuse is the misuse of an office or position of power, leadership, lay leadership, or influence to further the wishes or directives of an organization or individual against the will of another party. Spiritual abuse is not always subtle in appearance, and more often, like many other forms of abuse in today’s society, relishes on the secrecy provided by implementing it’s power over another in privacy. Spiritual manipulation, mental manipulation, manipulation of events as wel...

When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as well) tend to overlook some behaviors in their new partner that do not bode well for the future. Then, down the road, comes the exclamation ‘If I had only known...’. As a Psychotherapist who has worked with mostly women and a few men in the field of Domestic Violence, during counseling sessions we can always trace back unpleasant and also dangerous character traits to the very start of the relationship. Here are some ‘Red Flags’ to watch out for in a new partner. • He makes decisions about where to go with little or no input from you. • He belittles your opinion when the two of you are alone and may call you names. • He makes disparaging remarks about you in front of others and may talk about you as if you were not there. • He may be rough during love-making and make you engage in acts you do not like. • He does not want to spend time with your friends or family and insists you socialize with his people. • He wi...

I am a suicide survivor. I am also a Christian. This article explains how anyone, but especially people of faith, can survive or help others to survive the tragedy of a suicidal death of a family member or close friend. My father committed suicide with an overdose of prescription medicine taken in conjunction with alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant that exacerbates suicidal tendencies in those who are prone to such self-destructive acts. I was 16 years old at the time. I was wrongly ashamed of my father’s suicide for most of my life. In fact, that feeling of shame is one of the great regrets of my life. With the combination of drugs and alcohol my dad might not have even intended to take his life. It could have been an accident. Their was no suicide note. He had no previous declaration of intent to commit suicide. The answer to that mystery we will never know. Still, officially his death certificate declared it a suicide. If someone asked how my father died, I would say that he died of a...

Like many others, I have been through my share of low moments in my life so far including emotional abuse when I was young as well as the loss of my mother due to suicide. However, despite these major adversities, I never suffered from clinical depression and I'll probably never really know the exactly why I was spared from this common mental health condition either. Was it because of a unique biochemistry in my head? Was it my attitude? Or was it because of certain actions I took? I'm very much aware that there are many people out there who are not so fortunate. I have had friends, relatives and significant others who suffered from clinical depression. And of course, there was my own mother who basically lost her battle against a severe case. So even though I have not personally suffered from clinical depression, I have had a front row seat to it many times to know that this is real. One thing that I have personally noticed with many people who are depressed is that they are n...

Survey outcomes give valuable information regarding the reasons and infidelity deeds of men. Surprisingly, the springiness that men appear to have towards their ego, even tough not meaning to cheat, they consider discrepancy as something that must be at all times avoided. History reveals us that mankind has since long ago tolerated a certain level of polygamy and besides religion norms, financial status is the only impediment. Polygamy practices in ancient times The statement sustaining that men are rational and capable of reflection towards their actions is disputable, but the more advanced mankind is, the more elaborate from sexual characteristics point of view is going to be. By observing males behavior within species, it has been proved that they consider procreation as a priority, after first place being occupied by food supply. Therefore, looking from a development perspective, the charge brought to men as moral fibre lack is not fully based, because anthropological studi...

The estimated risk for rape survivors developing post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is 49%. The risk for those beaten or experiencing physical assault is 31.9%, whilst the risk for others who experienced sexual assault is 23.7%. Given these figures, it is no wonder women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, as they are statistically significantly more likely to experience sexual assault. Post traumatic stress disorder is characterized by intense fear, a sense of helplessness, or horror. It can affect all areas of a person's life, their emotions, mental wellbeing, and physical health. And symptoms are generally worse in situations, like rape and abuse, where the trauma was deliberately initiated against those involved. A person with post traumatic stress disorder may re-live the traumatic events, having flashbacks or other reminders and images that intrude on their waking hours, or in dreams and nightmares. These reminders may also trigger physical symptoms, such as ...

Have you ever been told by someone that you love or by someone of higher authority that words don’t hurt? Have you been told that as long as you are not being hit, that it is ok to be abused ? Well think again because "ABUSE" is abuse whether it is done physical, emotional or both and it affects women’s health just the same because both can leave lifetime scars that will and can hurt you in both your personal and professional life. The old myth has always been, if you are being physically abused to get out while those who were being emotionally abused were seemed to be told nothing! Is it a fact that words don’t hurt? If that holds true, then does it only become physical abuse when a bruised body part becomes obvious to others? Well, what about an emotionally abused person? Does it only become emotional abuse when you have started to believe what you’re told? Really there is no difference in how emotional and physical abuse affects the mind, body and spirit. Take t...