Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

Although I didn't have any new visible scars after I left my abusive relationship back in 1996, I did have plenty of wounds on my heart and my mind that didn't start to heal until I recognized the truth about myself and the man I thought would one day be my husband. I realized that I had a history of connecting with wounded souls on an intimate level even when I really didn't like my dates that much from the start.  How and why did that happen?  It may have started back during my teens when I thought that appeasing a hurting man or woman by giving into their requests was the way to go based on the dysfunctional programming that I watched on and off the television screen.  I saw my relatives do just that when I was a child--give in.  Time and time again they would act like they didn't want to help a manipulator, player, pimp, or hustler, but their mouths would say, "Yes, but only this time."  Codependency was something I was all too familiar with since as a c

The sexual encounters filled with psychological manipulation, pain, and control might look glamorous in movies, fun for some, and overall just cool to fantasize about.  However, for abusive men and women, they often take things too far!  I revisited that time in my life where I was in college and enjoyed meeting new people.  I recalled meeting the older gentleman with an articulate speaking voice and appeared to be quite kind.  He was handsome but deadly.  The "nice" man had a dark side.  The more time I spent with him, the more he lured my mind then my body and months later my spirit.  He had broken me.  His sexual fantasies intensified and in some twisted way, I remember caught up in a roller coaster ride of break up to make up until he proposed on Valentine's Day. His web of destruction was alluring, not demented or crazy.  Things didn't get strange until his requests for me to do more and more for him began to take their toll.  One request was after a heavy mak