Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

I give you no ammunition to use against me! Nothing to allow you to destroy my heart! No stray bullets to attempt to blow my mind! No gunpowder to leave on my soul! You are hollow! Like the barrel of your gun, you pull your trigger and then your done! You are an assassin and I'm the president proudly serving your country. Nicholl McGuire Domestic violence survivor and author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com

A lot of the time when we think of domestic violence our attention is focused on just the two parties that are fighting, the abuser and the victim. We rarely think of the children in the home that are watching. Yet each year an estimated 3.3 million children witness domestic violence. Some of these children are caught in the crossfire and sustain physical injuries. Even those children who do not experience abuse themselves are left just as traumatized as those who suffer direct abuse. This is part of my own story about the effect of domestic violence on children. I learn early on to recognize the signs when the fight would escalate into violence. I knew that the safest place for me was to hide in a corner out of the way. I often covered by ears to try and block out the screams. It did not help for the screams still penetrated the gaps in my little fingers. I sat their in silence and hopelessness. I knew I could not do anything to stop it yet I felt guilty. Somehow I just knew the fight...

What lures a woman to go to the other side of the tunnel -- alone. In the dark amongst the shadows and screeching screams from afar. What is it that her soul searches for? Is curiosity that strong to commit suicide... Is man really worth it? Nicholl McGuire http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com

Married women on their way out of an abusive relationship are frequently found navigating the system en route to safety. But is their path safe? Not necessarily so. We frequently see women struggling in relation to their legal counsel just as they struggled in their battering relationship. And they feel worn down, confused, taken advantage of... What often happens is these women engage in their relationship with their legal representation just as they engaged in relation to the “white knight” from whom they are seeking refuge. They look to this person as their savior, leaping in with blind faith. When told exactly what they want to hear, they saddle up and go for the ride. Sadly for some, years go by, and hundreds of thousands of dollars later, they ask, WHY? Family Violence and Legal Domestic Abuse My sense is the dynamics are exactly the same. Domestic abuse is about control and so is the legal abuse syndrome. And the survivor in both of these situations engages and partic...

If there ever was any doubt in your mind where adult domestic violence has its roots-put your inquisitive mind at rest. It starts with our kids!! In a recent study partnered by Teenage Research Unlimited and the Liz Claiborne Corporation, teens 13-18 were surveyed on the frequency of dating violence in their lives. The study revealed some shocking statistics and facts about the teen dating scene. Among many conclusions are that a significant percentage of teens not only are victims of dating abuse but also they accept it as normal and that they feel pressured to have and keep relationships particularly if it is a "serious" one. Teens in these serious relationships report by nearly a 2 to 1 margin more abuse, controlling and even violent behavior compared to other teens. The study also showed that: - 20% in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed - 30% report being worried about their physical safety - 64% report controlling behavior - 55% comp...

I am a man of 54 years now. But despite seeing so many things in my life and experiencing all the emotions, I feel hurt when I am verbally abused. It is not that verbal abuse does not hurt. Some people think that verbal abuse can be easily forgotten and one may go forward. Yes, one goes forward but the scars of the wound inflicted by the verbal abuse go along with many of us. How about a child? A child can be verbally abused in many ways. Children abusing each other with name calling etc. are common. But worse is verbal abuse by elders. Parents, relatives and teachers form part of this group in a child's life. Many parents have set ideas about how a child should behave. If the child does not behave that away, the parents do not explain them the right way but make fun of them verbally. If such fun is made in presence of others the child's psyche is hurt. The hurt may look very innocent but that makes a child feel insecure about themselves. The children lose faith in their own ab...

You're Crazy!" This statement is one that is commonly made by an emotional abuser. Emotional abuse can also be referred to as psychological or verbal abuse. The effects of emotional abuse are long term and can take a long time to heal. My biggest concern with this sort of abuse is that a lot of women do not recognize it and simply think that their partner just does not treat them very good! This is such a misunderstanding that worries me. So what is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse can be defined as one partner insulting, yelling, putting down, humiliating, threatening and harming pets or damaging property. All of these are inclusive to this type of abuse and are very harming to the one on the receiving end. The effects of verbal abuse can be as severe as depression, post traumatic stress disorder, self-harm, actually feeling crazy and mental illness. There are so many other effects to which consist of anxiety, loss of energy, self blame, low self-esteem and sleeping problems....