Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

I am a man of 54 years now. But despite seeing so many things in my life and experiencing all the emotions, I feel hurt when I am verbally abused. It is not that verbal abuse does not hurt. Some people think that verbal abuse can be easily forgotten and one may go forward. Yes, one goes forward but the scars of the wound inflicted by the verbal abuse go along with many of us. How about a child? A child can be verbally abused in many ways. Children abusing each other with name calling etc. are common. But worse is verbal abuse by elders. Parents, relatives and teachers form part of this group in a child's life. Many parents have set ideas about how a child should behave. If the child does not behave that away, the parents do not explain them the right way but make fun of them verbally. If such fun is made in presence of others the child's psyche is hurt. The hurt may look very innocent but that makes a child feel insecure about themselves. The children lose faith in their own ab...

You're Crazy!" This statement is one that is commonly made by an emotional abuser. Emotional abuse can also be referred to as psychological or verbal abuse. The effects of emotional abuse are long term and can take a long time to heal. My biggest concern with this sort of abuse is that a lot of women do not recognize it and simply think that their partner just does not treat them very good! This is such a misunderstanding that worries me. So what is emotional abuse? Emotional abuse can be defined as one partner insulting, yelling, putting down, humiliating, threatening and harming pets or damaging property. All of these are inclusive to this type of abuse and are very harming to the one on the receiving end. The effects of verbal abuse can be as severe as depression, post traumatic stress disorder, self-harm, actually feeling crazy and mental illness. There are so many other effects to which consist of anxiety, loss of energy, self blame, low self-esteem and sleeping problems....

7 Things to Think About for Women in Abusive Relationships When you don't know whether the time is right to leave him, and you just can't figure out why you allow such negative things to happen to you, consider these seven statements that just may change your life. Read More

Perfectionists Can Be Suicidal: How to Avoid the Dark Thoughts of Suicide Ever wonder why you start off in love with life, love, work, school or family, then later you can't stand yourself or anyone or anything else? Are you a perfectionist heading down a path of suicide? Read More

It wasn't too long ago that many of us were reeling from the news of domestic violence involving singers Chris Brown and Rihanna. According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, more than one million people, on average, are victims of domestic violence each year. The vast majority of victims are women, and if there is any hope to lessen domestic violence, it's important that we start educating our sons about it at an early age. This includes: 1. What Constitutes Domestic Violence. While many people think of domestic violence as a man consistently abusing a woman, we must help them understand that domestic violence is any violence which takes place amongst family members or those in an intimate relationship and that it can be a one time occurrence or continuous. 2. Respect For Women. Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Men who have little respect for women can often get abusive when things go awry. We must continue to teach our sons that women are to be tr...

As an adult have you experienced-but not limited to the following? • Little or no memory of childhood-age 3 to 12 • Trouble with relationships-on the job, in your family • Low self-esteem • Panic attacks-mild to severe • Anxiety • Phobias • Depression • Inability to trust or trusting indiscriminately • alcohol/drug abuse • Obsessive compulsive behavior • Nightmares of being chased, trapped or surreal • Sensory flashes-unable to identify images • Insomnia • Suicidal thoughts or attempts • A sense of going crazy or feeling unreal compared to others • Shame, guilt • Sense of underlying humiliation • Baseless crying • Angry outbursts/rage seemingly for no reason • Inability to recognize feelings • Mood swings • Emotional shut down • Numbing or zoning out • Arthritis/joint pain • Diagnosis of ADD or ADHD, • Labeled an 'airhead' • Chronic/acute fear • Headaches/migraines • Eating disorders-anorexia, bulimia, obesity • PMS • Vaginismus • Gastrointestinal/gynecological disorders • Chro...

Tell me, does this describe someone you know? Some people who feel inferior use an addiction to try to overcome weaknesses, especially in times of increased stress or deep inner conflict. A person’s inner inferiority complex reveals itself in his or her actions such as addiction, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, compulsive eating, blame and aggression among others. No successful person desires a destructive addiction. What people who choose addiction or abuse really want is the power and ability to create better lives. Fearing they do not have this power to improve their lives, you will hear these people use excuses and blame to justify their addiction and abuse and protect what little dignity they feel they have left. If you find yourself or others dealing with addiction or abuse, instead of justifying or blaming, ask the following questions: Do I really want healing and resolution for this addiction or abuse? Am I willing to improve myself to achieve healing? Do I realize I ca...