Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

The abusive one doesn't realize it but the wiring in the brain isn't connected right.  Fight up against truth, talk down to those who are only trying to help, kick people when they are down, use violence to get one's point across...you might know someone like this, what's worse he or she is a mother or father.  Past programming beckons the once victim turned abuser to keep the generational cycle of abuse going.  "My Daddy said this...my Momma did that...We turned out alright.  Kids nowadays are soft." the abuser boasts.  Hit on his or her head, shoved down stairs, pushed into a wall, burned with cigarettes, called many names, beaten with sticks, belts or anything a parent could reach...and it was all okay.  Well we live in a different time and if those parents were honest with themselves and with others, periodic thoughts don't come together in their minds in a rational way when it comes to parenting children.  - They can't handle too much noise.

He seeks his next target. By the time he is finished with her... His demands will cause her to lose the makeup, change her hairstyle, and stop dressing so nicely. Stress ages the beautiful one. Power and control suffocates love. Peace is a dream. Then on to his next victim. "It didn't work...she was this, she was that..." Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues by Nicholl McGuire

It's All In the Family: Is there a connection to a father beating his daug... : Somewhere right now as you read this, a teenage daughter may have said something to her father that offended him so much that he gave her ...

So sex is supposed to make things better?   Wasn't it just last week, a month ago or a little longer that a woman or man complained about his or her relationship with an abuser.  And wasn't it not that long ago that he or she talked of breakup, separation or divorce?  What changed?  A sexual release.  You know the abuser is still the same.  He or she hasn't changed.  The dark side has went into hiding until next time.  For those of you in love, lust, or like with a hot-tempered, mean-spirited ugly man or woman, you know how the story goes.  Everything is "okay, alright, fine" until the next blow up.  Turbulent relationships never remain peaceful, there is always something right around the corner that an abuser gets his or herself mixed up in (cheating, lies, stealing, fights, job loss, self-harm, etc.)  Evil men and women bore easily, get angry over the littlest of things, act self-righteous, cold-hearted, and pride themselves on emotionally and/or p

We saw recently what one can do when a handgun is in the wrong hands.  In the San Bernardino shooting  involving an abusive husband and his estranged wife, media reports say he was at the school to drop something off to the school teacher, but what he was really there for was to kill her and himself.  Unfortunately, two children were caught in the crossfire of domestic violence. What goes on at home, especially if the relationship is turbulent, doesn't stay there.   Tell your business it just might save a life! When one has a troubled mind the issues eventually show up and impact others--innocent children, relatives, law enforcement, paramedics, etc.  The husband had a criminal history in the San Bernardino shooting, an obvious red flag for the woman who married him, but she dismissed it. From desperation to be in a relationship to needing help with the bills and/or children, many needy women drive themselves into relationships with abusive men--there is a good reason w

Obsessed with power and control, a mean spirited man or woman refuses to agree on anything even when it just might cost them everything.  In their minds, they feel good knowing they could do the right thing, but they refuse.  They covertly or overtly enjoy seeing others suffer. Learn to work around the abusers in your life. You really don't need them as much as they would like for you to believe.