Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate

When starting a new relationship, many women (and men as well) tend to overlook some behaviors in their new partner that do not bode well for the future. Then, down the road, comes the exclamation ‘If I had only known...’. As a Psychotherapist who has worked with mostly women and a few men in the field of Domestic Violence, during counseling sessions we can always trace back unpleasant and also dangerous character traits to the very start of the relationship. Here are some ‘Red Flags’ to watch out for in a new partner. • He makes decisions about where to go with little or no input from you. • He belittles your opinion when the two of you are alone and may call you names. • He makes disparaging remarks about you in front of others and may talk about you as if you were not there. • He may be rough during love-making and make you engage in acts you do not like. • He does not want to spend time with your friends or family and insists you socialize with his people. • He wi...

I am a suicide survivor. I am also a Christian. This article explains how anyone, but especially people of faith, can survive or help others to survive the tragedy of a suicidal death of a family member or close friend. My father committed suicide with an overdose of prescription medicine taken in conjunction with alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant that exacerbates suicidal tendencies in those who are prone to such self-destructive acts. I was 16 years old at the time. I was wrongly ashamed of my father’s suicide for most of my life. In fact, that feeling of shame is one of the great regrets of my life. With the combination of drugs and alcohol my dad might not have even intended to take his life. It could have been an accident. Their was no suicide note. He had no previous declaration of intent to commit suicide. The answer to that mystery we will never know. Still, officially his death certificate declared it a suicide. If someone asked how my father died, I would say that he died of a...

Like many others, I have been through my share of low moments in my life so far including emotional abuse when I was young as well as the loss of my mother due to suicide. However, despite these major adversities, I never suffered from clinical depression and I'll probably never really know the exactly why I was spared from this common mental health condition either. Was it because of a unique biochemistry in my head? Was it my attitude? Or was it because of certain actions I took? I'm very much aware that there are many people out there who are not so fortunate. I have had friends, relatives and significant others who suffered from clinical depression. And of course, there was my own mother who basically lost her battle against a severe case. So even though I have not personally suffered from clinical depression, I have had a front row seat to it many times to know that this is real. One thing that I have personally noticed with many people who are depressed is that they are n...